All The Pretty Girls

They say all girls are bad news;
They say every girl's a curse.
Oh, they're quick to warn you,
Those older women are worse.

Yeah, those pretty girls are bad news;
Every pretty girl's a curse.
The wiser men all warn you,
"Those older women are worse!"

They say back in the Garden,
Eve started this conspiracy.
They say, "Ladies, I beg your pardon,
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree."

They say all girls are bad news;
They say every girl's a curse.
Oh, they're quick to warn you.
Those older women are worse.

Yeah, those pretty girls are bad news;
Every pretty girl's a curse.
The wiser men all warn you,
"Those older women are worse!"

Remember those Sirens back on the beach,
Those babes no man could resist?
Had to keep Ulysses on a short leash -
Keep him from a rocky romantic kiss.

But I'm tellin' you:

Check under the hood,
Check back in the trunk.
You know it's all good;
God don't make no junk.

If I put all the pretty girls
Off to one side of this world,
The other side would be girl-free,
Because they're all pretty girls to me.

They say all girls are bad news;
They say every girl's a curse.
Oh, they're quick to warn you,
Those older women are worse.

Yeah, those pretty girls are bad news;
Every pretty girl's a curse.
The wiser men all warn you,
"Those older women are worse!"

Now we've got alimony, palimony,
Sexual harassment suits.
New millennium fantasies
Selling their modern-day fruits.

But I'm tellin' you:

Check under the hood,
Check back in the trunk.
You know it's all good;
God don't make no junk.

If I put all the pretty girls
Off to one side of this world,
The other side would be girl-free,
Because they're all pretty girls to me.