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This is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the
Restaurant, but Restaurant is not the name of the restaurant,
That's just the of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's
Restaurant.

You can get anything you at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Restaurant
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a mile from the track
You can get anything you at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two ago, was on, two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I up to visit Alice at the
Restaurant, but Alice live in the restaurant, she lives in the
Church the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
Room downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all room,
Seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided they didn't
to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the in there, and we decided it'd be
A friendly gesture for us to take the down to the city dump. So
We took the a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
Microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of and headed
On toward the dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across the
Dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never of a dump
Closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our we drove off
Into the sunset for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. we came to a side road, and off the side of the
road there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
Cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided one big pile
Is than two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
Decided to throw down.

That's we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
Dinner that couldn't be beat, went to and didn't get up until the
Next morning, we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
We found your on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
Garbage, and just to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot a lie, I put that envelope
Under garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the we
Finally arrived at the truth of the and said that we had to go down
And pick up the garbage, and had to go down and speak to him at the
Police officer's station. So we got in the red VW with the
Shovels and and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
Police station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie done at
The police station, and the first was he could have us a medal for
Being so brave and on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
We didn't expect it, and the other thing was he have bawled us out
And told us never to be see driving garbage the vicinity again,
Which is what we expected, but when we got to the police station
There was a possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
Both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I think I
Can pick up the garbage with handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
Quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where happened here, they got three stop
Signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was police officers and three police cars,
Being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody to
Get in the newspaper story about it. And was using up all kinds of
Cop equipment that they had hanging the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog prints, and
They took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour photographs with circles
And arrows and a paragraph on the of each one explaining what each
One was to be used as evidence against us. pictures of the approach,
The getaway, the northwest corner the corner and that's not to
the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was to put
Us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want
and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
Wallet so I have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
Want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't any hangings." I
Said, "Obie, did you I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends was, cause he took out the
seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
Out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the roll out the - roll the
Toilet paper out the window, down the roll and have an escape. Obie
Was making sure, and it was about four or five later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and a few
Nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went
To the church, had a another thanksgiving that couldn't be beat,
And get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in the twenty seven eight-by-ten
glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
Of one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
And Obie stood up with the twenty eight-by-ten colour glossy
Pictures, and the walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
Sat down, we sat down. Obie at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
And a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the eye dog.
And then at twenty eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
And arrows and a paragraph on the of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of
justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
Judge wasn't to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
Pictures the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
One explaining what one was to be used as evidence against us. And
We was fined $50 and had to pick up the in the snow, but thats not
What I came to you about.

Came to talk the draft.

They got a down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
Where you in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
Neglected and selected. I down to get my physical examination one
Day, and I in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
Look like the kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
To feel the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
And I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
Kinds o' mean ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
Me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, 604."

And I up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
Wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I see blood and gore and
Guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
He started up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
Yelling, "KILL, KI