This song is called Restaurant, and it's about Alice, and the Restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the of the restaurant, just the name of the song, and that's why I called the song Alice's Restaurant.
You can get anything you want at Restaurant You can get anything you want at Restaurant Walk right in it's around the Just a a mile from the railroad track You can get anything you want at Alice's
Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on, two ago on Thanksgiving, when my friend and I up to visit Alice at the Restaurant, but Alice doesn't in the restaurant, she lives in the Church the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell like that, they got a lot of Room downstairs where the used to be in. Havin' all that room, Seein' as how they took out all the pews, they that they didn't to take out their garbage for a long time.
We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we it'd be A friendly gesture for us to take the garbage down to the dump. So We took the a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW Microbus, took shovels and and implements of destruction and headed On toward the dump.
Well we got there and there was a big and a chain across across the Dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never of a dump Closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we off Into the sunset for another place to put the garbage.
We didn't one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the Side there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the Cliff there was another of garbage. And we decided that one big pile Is better than two piles, and rather than bring that one up we Decided to our's down.
what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving Dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and get up until the morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid, We your name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of Garbage, and just to know if you had any information about it." And I said, "Yes, sir, Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope that garbage."
After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five on the telephone we Finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said we had to go down And pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the Police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus the and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the Police station.
Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie done at The station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for Being so brave and on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and We didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could bawled us out And us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again, Which is what we expected, but when we got to the officer's station There was a possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I Can up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the car."
And that's we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got stop Signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the Scene of the there was five police officers and three police cars, Being the biggest crime of the last years, and everybody wanted to Get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all of Cop equipment that had hanging around the police officer's station. They was plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles And and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each One was to be used as evidence against us. Took of the approach, The getaway, the northwest corner the southwest and that's not to the aerial photography.
After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. said he was going to put Us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want Wallet and belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my Wallet so I don't any money to spend in the cell, but what do you my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I Said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang for littering?" said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the Toilet seat so I hit myself over the head and drown, and he took Out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars out the - roll the Toilet paper out the window, slide down the and have an escape. Obie Was sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice (remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), came by and with a few Nasty words to Obie on the side, us out of jail, and we went back To the church, had a another dinner that couldn't be beat, And didn't get up until the next morning, we all had to go to court.
We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven Colour glossy pictures with circles and and a paragraph on the back Of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all up, And stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy Pictures, and the judge in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he Sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the eye dog, and then at the Twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy with circles and arrows And a paragraph on the back of one, and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles And arrows and a paragraph on the of each one and began to cry, 'cause came to the realization that it was a typical case of American Blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do it, and the Judge wasn't going to look at the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each One explaining what each one was to be as evidence against us. And We was $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not What I to tell you about.
to talk about the draft.
They got a building down New York City, it's called Street, you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected, Neglected and selected. I down to get my physical examination one Day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and the night before, so I looked and felt my when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted To feel like the all-, I to be the all American kid from New York, And I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all Kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I in and sat down and they gave Me a of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."
And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and Guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL." And I jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and He started jumpin up and down with me and we was both up and down Yelling, "KILL, KI