Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Restaurant
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's

Now it all started two ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice live in the restaurant, she lives in the
nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the tower like that, they got a lot of
downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their for a long time.

We got up there, we all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the down to the city dump. So
we the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we to a side road, and off the side of the
side road was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and than bring that one up we
decided to our's down.

what we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to and didn't get up until the
morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a a ton of
garbage, and wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I tell a lie, I put that envelope
under garbage."

After speaking to Obie for fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go
and pick up the garbage, and had to go down and speak to him at the
officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on the
police station.

Now friends, was only one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't likely, and
we didn't it, and the other thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the officer's station
there was a third possibility we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I think I
can pick up the garbage these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police officers and police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody to
get in the newspaper about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police station.
They was taking plaster tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one what each
one was to be used as against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest and that's not to
mention the photography.

After the ordeal, we back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any money to in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang for littering?"
Obie he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he took
out the paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or hours later that Alice
(remember It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went
to the church, had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down with a eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and at the seeing eye dog.
And then at seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do it, and the
judge going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a on the back of each
one explaining each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the in the snow, but thats not
what I to tell you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a down New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my examination one
day, and I in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I
to feel the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, a medal on me,
sent me the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't too good about it.

Proceeded on the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of nasty
ugly things and I was having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, every single part of me, and they was leaving no
untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we got
one question. Have you ever arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty eight-by-ten
glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, W's
where put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type sitting on the
next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was 'n' ugly
'n' 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the
there, and the hairy and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all back, shook my hand,
and we had a time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking and all kinds of
things, the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the on the bench there,
and I filled out the with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the of paper, and there, there on the
side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything else on
the side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
words:

("KID, HAVE YOU YOURSELF?")

I over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin on the Group W bench
you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the reason I'm
singing you this now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if in a
situation like that there's only one you can do and that's walk into
the shrink wherever you are ,just in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may he's really sick and
they take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't either of them.
And three do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty a day,I said
fifty people a day in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out. And they may thinks it's a movement.

And what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come on the guitar, here and
it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait it comes around again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is we're doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Alice
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's