Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Alice's
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's

Now it all two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to Alice at the
restaurant, but doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower like that, got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they
to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage to the city dump. So
we took the a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and and implements of destruction and headed
on the city dump.

Well we got and there was a big sign and a chain across across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never of a dump
on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side there was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw down.

That's we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a a ton of
garbage, and wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that
under garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on the
officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a for
being so and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other was he could have bawled us out
and us never to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's
was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the of the patrol car."

And what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, this happened here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody to
get in the story about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had around the police officer's station.
They was plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest and that's not to
the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm to put you in the cell, I want your
and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars out the - roll the
paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and a few
words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that be beat,
and didn't get up the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven
colour glossy with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven colour glossy
pictures, and the walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the in the snow, but thats not
what I came to you about.

to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I to
look the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they
me a of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I see blood and gore and
and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, a medal on me,
sent me the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't too good about it.

Proceeded on down the gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that they was to me
at the thing there, and I was for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough there, and they was
inspecting, every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we got
one question. Have you been arrested?"

And I proceeded to him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven
glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W's
they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. stabbers. Father
rapers! Father sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and crime-type guys sitting on the
next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat down to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of nasty things, till I
said, "And a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was cigarettes and all kinds of
things, the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
forty-five minutes and understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the part harmony, and wrote it
there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the side, away from everything else on
the side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the
following

("KID, HAVE YOU YOURSELF?")

I went to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the W bench
'cause you want to if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the reason I'm
singing you this song now is cause you may know in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk
the wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person it they may think he's really sick and
they take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't either of them.
And three do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may it's an
organization. And can you, can you fifty people a day,I said
fifty a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to is sing it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's
Walk right in it's the back
Just a a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to loud.
I've been singing song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll till it comes around again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're just for it to come around is what we're doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice's
Walk right in it's around the
Just a half a mile from the track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's

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At Restaurant