Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, decided that they didn't
to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided be
a gesture for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across the
saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we off
into the sunset looking for place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the of the
side road there was another foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big
is better than two little piles, and rather than that one up we
decided to throw down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a
dinner that be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that
that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus the
and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie done at
the police station, and the first was he could have given us a for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving around the vicinity again,
is what we expected, but when we got to the police officer's station
there was a third possibility we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody to
get in the newspaper story about it. And was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the corner and that's not to
mention the photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can you wanting my
so I don't have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and an escape. Obie
was sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we back
to the church, had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven
colour glossy with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all up,
and Obie stood up with the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and
and a on the back of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven colour glossy pictures with circles
and arrows and a on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of
blind justice, and there wasn't he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but not
I came to tell you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it's Whitehall Street,
you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my physical one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got and drunk the night before, so
I looked and my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid New York,
and I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and gave
me a of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a on me,
me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too about it.

on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff that was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of nasty
ugly and I was just having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, every single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down a whole big thing there,
and I up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. you ever been arrested?"

And I to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like and all
the phenome... - and he me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty eight-by-ten
colour glossy with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty
people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father rapers sitting right on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n'
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean things, till I
said, "And a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put the
pencil, and I turned over the of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from else on
the other side, in parentheses, letters, quotated, read the
following

("KID, YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm here on the Group W bench
'cause you to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and villages after bein' a litterbug." He at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only I'm
singing you song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if in a
situation like that only one thing you can do and that's walk into
the wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it may think he's really sick and
they take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three walking in
singin a bar of Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice's and
out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it come's on the
guitar.

feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's
You can get anything you want, at Alice's
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're just for it to come around is what we're doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's
Excepting
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Restaurant