Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you at Alice's Restaurant
right in it's around the back
Just a a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's

Now it all started two ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to visit at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she in the
nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower that, they got a lot of
downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, decided that they didn't
have to take out their for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the down to the city dump. So
we took the a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and and implements of destruction and headed
on the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a across across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never of a dump
on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for another to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot and at the bottom of the
cliff there was pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw down.

That's what we did, and back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, to sleep and didn't get up until the
morning, when we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under garbage."

After speaking to Obie for fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on the
officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two that Obie coulda done at
the station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the thing was he could have bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the officer's station
there was a third possibility that we hadn't even upon, and we was
both arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And that's what we did, sat in the of the patrol car and drove to the
quote of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this here, they got three stop
signs, two police officers, and one police car, but we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was police officers and three police cars,
the biggest crime of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop that they had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with
and arrows and a on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the corner and that's not to
mention the photography.

the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you my
wallet so I don't any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was to hang myself for littering?"
said he was making sure, and friends Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the roll out the - roll the
paper out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went
to the church, had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the seven eight-by-ten
glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up with the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the eye dog.
And then at seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles
and and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical case of
justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a paragraph on the of each
one what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
I came to tell you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a building down New City, it's called Whitehall Street,
you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went down to get my examination one
day, and I in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I went in that morning. `Cause I to
like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I see blood and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent over, pinned a medal on me,
sent me the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't too good about it.

on down the hall gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours,
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of nasty
ugly things and I was just having a time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting single part of me, and they was leaving no
part untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a big thing there,
and I up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the twenty seven
colour glossy pictures with the and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I
you to go and sit down on bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and is, Group W's
they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' and all kind of things and he sat down next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all came back, my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was cigarettes and all kinds of
things, until the came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the there,
and I out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from else on
the other side, in parentheses, letters, quotated, read the
following

("KID, YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the W bench
'cause you want to if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in little folder, is a
study in black and of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you this now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one you can do and that's walk into
the wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And out. You know, if
one person, just one does it they may think he's really sick and
won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Restaurant and
walking out. And friends may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

feeling. So we'll wait for it to come around on the guitar, here and
sing it when it does. it comes.

You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the track
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant

That was horrible. If you want to end war and you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Alice
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in around the back
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's