Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Restaurant
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's

Now it all two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, my friend and I went up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
downstairs where the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, decided that they didn't
to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we it'd be
a friendly gesture for us to take the garbage to the city dump. So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the of a red VW
microbus, took and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the dump.

Well we got there and was a big sign and a chain across across the
saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we off
into the sunset looking for place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another fifteen foot and at the bottom of the
cliff there was pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better two little piles, and rather than bring that one up we
decided to our's down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up the
next morning, we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under garbage."

speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the
officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed on the
police station.

Now friends, there was one or two things that Obie coulda done at
the station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
so brave and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could bawled us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage around the again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police station
was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got stop
signs, two police officers, and one car, but when we got to the
of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the police station.
was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour photographs with circles
and and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence against us. Took of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and not to
mention the photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm to put you in the cell, I want your
and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you wanting my
wallet so I have any money to spend in the cell, but what do you
my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit over the head and drown, and he took
out the paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving that couldn't be beat,
and get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, came in with the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all up,
and Obie stood up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten glossy pictures with circles
and and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause came to the realization that it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there nothing he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as against us. And
we was $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I to tell you about.

to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
and selected. I went down to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and the night before, so
I looked and felt my best I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I to be the all American kid from New York,
and I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a on me,
me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin injections, inspections,
detections, and all kinds of stuff that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours,
hours, I was there for a long going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was just a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, every single part of me, and they was leaving no
untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. Have you been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you
go to court?"

And I to tell him the story of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with the and arrows and the paragraph on
the of each one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench that Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army
committing your special crime, and there was all of mean nasty ugly
people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys on the
bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the
father raper of them all, was coming to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat next to me
and said, "Kid, get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and up the garbage." He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all moved from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And they all back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, talkin crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was cigarettes and all kinds of
things, the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and it
there, just like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I over the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the side, away from everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, the
following

("KID, YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the Group W bench
you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women,
kids, houses and after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send you
off to Washington."

And friends, in Washington enshrined in some little folder, is a
study in and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if in a
like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk into
the wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person it they may think he's really sick and
won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they take either of them.
And people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
out. And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to around on the guitar, here and
sing it it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
right in it's around the back
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible. If you to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
been singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll till it comes around again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come is what we're doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's
Alice
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's