Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Alice's
Walk right in it's the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad
You can get anything you want at Restaurant

Now it all two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs the pews used to be in. Havin' all that room,
as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their garbage for a time.

We got up there, we all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of and headed
on the city dump.

Well we got there and was a big sign and a chain across across the
saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never heard of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with in our eyes we drove off
the sunset looking for another place to put the garbage.

We find one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was another foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather bring that one up we
to throw our's down.

That's we did, and drove back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the bottom of a a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any information it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put envelope
that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and had to go down and speak to him at the
police officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus the
shovels and rakes and implements of and headed on toward the
police station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie coulda at
the police station, and the first was he could have us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, which very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have us out
and told us never to be see driving garbage the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the officer's station
was a third possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I said "Obie, I think I
can up the garbage with these handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the back of the car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the car and drove to the
quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, they got three
signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the last years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And was using up all kinds of
cop equipment they had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of one explaining what each
one was to be used as evidence us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the corner the southwest corner and that's not to
mention the photography.

After the ordeal, we went to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any to spend in the cell, but what do you
want my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself the head and drown, and he took
out the paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
toilet out the window, slide down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner couldn't be beat,
and get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all up,
and Obie stood up with the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and at the
twenty eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the of each one, and looked at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven colour glossy
pictures with the circles and arrows and a on the back of each
one explaining each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was fined $50 and had to pick up the in the snow, but thats not
I came to tell you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a building New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the before, so
I looked and felt my best I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New City, man I wanted, I wanted
to feel like the all-, I to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and gave
me a of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I see, I wanna see blood and gore and
guts and in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started jumpin up and yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a on me,
me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of nasty
ugly things and I was just having a tough there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and was leaving no
part untouched. through, and when I finally came to the see the
man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we got
one question. Have you been arrested?"

And I to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
full orchestration and five part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that bench says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, W's
they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking people on the bench there. rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! Father sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat next to me
and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?" I said, "I get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And they all away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was cigarettes and all kinds of
things, the Sargeant came over, had some paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
forty-five minutes and nobody a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the on the bench there,
and I out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, just it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away everything else on
the other side, in parentheses, letters, quotated, read the
words:

("KID, YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, women,
kids, and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in enshrined in some little folder, is a
in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
singing you song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's into
the shrink wherever you are ,just in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really and
they won't take him. And if two people, two do it, in harmony,
they may they're both faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. They may it's an
organization. And can you, can you fifty people a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out. And friends may thinks it's a movement.

And that's it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come on the guitar, here and
sing it it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

was horrible. If you want to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So wait till it comes around again, and this time with four part
and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Alice
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the track
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Restaurant