Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Alice's
right in it's around the back
Just a half a from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Restaurant

Now it all two Thanksgivings ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I went up to Alice at the
restaurant, but doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives in the
church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her Ray and
Fasha the dog. And livin' in the bell tower that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in. all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that they
to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we all the garbage in there, and we decided it'd be
a friendly for us to take the garbage down to the city dump. So
we took the a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, took shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and
on toward the dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had never of a dump
closed on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our we drove off
into the sunset for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a road, and off the side of the
side road was another fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we decided one big pile
is better than two little piles, and than bring that one up we
decided to throw down.

That's what we did, and back to the church, had a thanksgiving
dinner that couldn't be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up the
next morning, when we got a phone call from Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found your name on an envelope at the of a half a ton of
garbage, and wanted to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under garbage."

After speaking to for about fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the matter and said that we had to go
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go and speak to him at the
officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and and implements of destruction and headed on toward the
officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things Obie coulda done at
the police station, and the first was he could given us a medal for
being so brave and on the telephone, which wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other was he could have bawled us out
and told us to be see driving garbage around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but when we got to the police station
there was a possibility that we hadn't even counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage with these on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the of the patrol car."

And what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car and drove to the
Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this here, they got three stop
signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
of the Crime there was five police officers and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper about it. And they was using up all kinds of
cop equipment that they had hanging around the officer's station.
They was taking plaster tracks, foot prints, dog smelling prints, and
they took twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining each
one was to be used as against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner and not to
mention the photography.

the ordeal, we went back to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm going to put you in the cell, I want
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can you wanting my
wallet so I don't have any money to in the cell, but what do you
want my for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you think I was to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and Obie was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself the head and drown, and he took
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - the
toilet paper out the window, down the roll and have an escape. Obie
was making sure, and it was about four or five later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a about Alice), Alice came by and with a few
nasty words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went
to the church, had a another thanksgiving dinner that be beat,
and get up until the next morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the seven eight-by-ten
colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a on the back
of each one, sat down. Man came in said, "All rise." We all up,
and Obie stood up with the seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, and at the
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and looked at the eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures circles
and arrows and a on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical of American
blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he could do it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour
pictures with the circles and and a paragraph on the back of each
one what each one was to be used as evidence against us. And
we was $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
I came to tell you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it's Whitehall Street,
you walk in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went to get my physical examination one
day, and I in, I sat down, got good and drunk the night before, so
I looked and felt my best when I in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I
to like the all-, I wanted to be the all American kid from New York,
and I in, sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, 604."

And I up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, pinned a on me,
sent me the hall, said, "You're our boy."

feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of stuff they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, three hours,
hours, I was there for a long going through all kinds of mean nasty
ugly things and I was having a tough time there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and they was no
untouched. Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big there,
and I up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we only got
one question. you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and five part harmony and like that and all
the phenome... - and he me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the of the twenty seven eight-by-ten
glossy pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the after
your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly
looking on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father
rapers! rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
bench to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat next to me
and said, "Kid, get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of nasty things, till I
said, "And a nuisance." And they all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,
raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and all of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had some in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, and it
down there, just like it was, and was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned the piece of paper, and there, there on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from everything on
the other side, in parentheses, letters, quotated, read the
words:

("KID, YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin on the Group W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm enough join the army, burn women,
kids, and villages after bein' a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't your kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in little folder, is a
study in black and white of my fingerprints. And the only I'm
singing you song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and walk into
the wherever you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at restaurant.". And walk out. You know, if
one person, just one person it they may think he's really sick and
won't take him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and they won't take of them.
And people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in
singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out. may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in singin a bar of Restaurant and
walking out. And friends they may it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Movement, and
all you got to do to join is sing it the next time it around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll for it to come around on the guitar, here and
it when it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad
You can get anything you want, at Alice's

That was horrible. If you to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've been singing this song now for five minutes. I could sing it
for another five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time four part
and feeling.

We're waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All now.

You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Alice
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Walk right in it's the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's