Luyện nghe bài hát Alice's Restaurant Massacre

You can get anything you want at Alice's
You can get anything you want at Alice's
Walk in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad
You can get anything you want at Alice's

Now it all started two ago, was on - two years ago on
Thanksgiving, when my friend and I up to visit Alice at the
restaurant, but Alice doesn't in the restaurant, she lives in the
church the restaurant, in the bell-tower, with her husband Ray and
Fasha the dog. And in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the used to be in. Havin' all that room,
seein' as how they took out all the pews, they decided that didn't
have to take out their for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there, and we decided be
a friendly gesture for us to take the down to the city dump. So
we the half a ton of garbage, put it in the back of a red VW
microbus, shovels and rakes and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a chain across the
dump saying, "Closed on Thanksgiving." And we had heard of a dump
on Thanksgiving before, and with tears in our eyes we drove off
into the sunset looking for place to put the garbage.

We didn't one. Until we came to a side road, and off the side of the
side road there was fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
there was another pile of garbage. And we decided that one big pile
is better than two little piles, and rather than bring one up we
to throw our's down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church, had a
dinner that be beat, went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, we got a phone call from officer Obie. He said, "Kid,
we found name on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just to know if you had any information about it." And
I said, "Yes, sir, Obie, I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope
under garbage."

After speaking to Obie for fourty-five minutes on the telephone we
finally arrived at the truth of the and said that we had to go down
and pick up the garbage, and also had to go down and to him at the
officer's station. So we got in the red VW microbus with the
shovels and rakes and implements of and headed on toward the
police station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that Obie done at
the station, and the first was he could have given us a medal for
being so brave and honest on the telephone, wasn't very likely, and
we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he could have us out
and told us never to be see driving around the vicinity again,
which is what we expected, but we got to the police officer's station
there was a third possibility that we hadn't counted upon, and we was
both immediately arrested. Handcuffed. And I "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage with handcuffs on." He said, "Shut up, kid.
Get in the of the patrol car."

And that's what we did, sat in the of the patrol car and drove to the
Scene of the Crime unquote. I want tell you about the town of
Stockbridge, Massachusets, where this happened here, got three stop
signs, two officers, and one police car, but when we got to the
Scene of the Crime there was five police and three police cars,
being the biggest crime of the fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was using up all of
cop equipment that had hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, dog prints, and
they twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what
one was to be as evidence against us. Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest the southwest corner and that's not to
mention the photography.

After the ordeal, we went to the jail. Obie said he was going to put
us in the cell. Said, "Kid, I'm to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt." And I said, "Obie, I can understand you my
wallet so I don't have any to spend in the cell, but what do you
my belt for?" And he said, "Kid, we don't want any hangings." I
said, "Obie, did you I was going to hang myself for littering?"
Obie said he was making sure, and friends was, cause he took out the
toilet seat so I couldn't hit myself over the head and drown, and he
out the toilet paper so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - the
toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and an escape. Obie
was sure, and it was about four or five hours later that Alice
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice), Alice came by and a few
words to Obie on the side, bailed us out of jail, and we went back
to the church, had a another dinner that couldn't be beat,
and didn't get up until the morning, when we all had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the seven eight-by-ten
glossy pictures with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back
of each one, sat down. Man in said, "All rise." We all stood up,
and Obie stood up the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures, and the judge walked in sat down a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. looked at the seeing eye dog, and then at the
twenty seven colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
and a paragraph on the back of each one, and at the seeing eye dog.
And then at twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy with circles
and and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization it was a typical case of American
blind justice, and there wasn't he could do about it, and the
judge wasn't going to look at the twenty eight-by-ten colour glossy
pictures with the and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each
one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence us. And
we was $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to you about.

Came to about the draft.

They got a building New York City, it's called Whitehall Street,
where you in, you get injected, inspected, detected, infected,
neglected and selected. I went to get my physical examination one
day, and I walked in, I sat down, got good and drunk the before, so
I looked and felt my best I went in that morning. `Cause I wanted to
look like the all-American kid from New York City, man I wanted, I
to feel like the all-, I to be the all American kid from New York,
and I walked in, sat down, I was hung down, down, hung up, and all
kinds o' nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat down and they gave
me a of paper, said, "Kid, see the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I to kill. I mean, I wanna, I
wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see and gore and
guts and veins in my teeth. Eat burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill,
KILL, KILL." And I started up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both up and down
yelling, "KILL, KILL." And the sargent came over, a medal on me,
me down the hall, said, "You're our boy."

Didn't too good about it.

Proceeded on down the gettin more injections, inspections,
detections, neglections and all kinds of that they was doin' to me
at the thing there, and I was there for two hours, hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all kinds of mean
ugly things and I was just having a tough there, and they was
inspecting, injecting every single part of me, and was leaving no
part untouched. through, and when I finally came to the see the
man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big thing there,
and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" He said, "Kid, we got
one question. Have you been arrested?"

And I to tell him the story of the Alice's Restaurant Massacre,
with full orchestration and part harmony and stuff like that and all
the phenome... - and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the seven eight-by-ten
colour pictures with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of one, and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, I want
you to go and sit down on that that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the there, and there is, Group W's
where they put you if you may not be moral enough to the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean ugly
looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers.
rapers! rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And
they was and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the
next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest
father raper of all, was coming over to me and he was mean 'n' ugly
'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind of things and he sat next to me
and said, "Kid, get?" I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay
$50 and pick up the garbage." He said, "What were you for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering." And all moved away from me on the bench
there, and the hairy and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I
said, "And creating a nuisance." And all came back, shook my hand,
and we had a great time on the bench, about crime, mother stabbing,
father raping, all kinds of things that we was talking about on the
bench. And everything was fine, we was smoking and all kinds of
things, until the Sargeant came over, had paper in his hand, held it
up and said.

"Kids,


officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and for
forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing the pencils on the bench there,
and I out the massacre with the four part harmony, and wrote it
down there, like it was, and everything was fine and I put down the
pencil, and I turned over the piece of paper, and there, on the
other side, in the middle of the other side, away from else on
the other side, in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, the
words:

("KID, HAVE YOU YOURSELF?")

I over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a damn gall to
ask me if rehabilitated myself, I mean, I mean, I mean that just, I'm
sittin' here on the bench, I mean I'm sittin here on the W bench
'cause you want to know if I'm moral enough join the army, women,
kids, houses and villages after a litterbug." He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like kind, and we're gonna send you fingerprints
off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in little folder, is a
study in black and of my fingerprints. And the only reason I'm
you this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a situation, and if your in a
situation like that there's only one thing you can do and that's walk
the shrink you are ,just walk in say "Shrink, You can get
anything you want, at Alice's restaurant.". And out. You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's really and
they won't him. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony,
they may think they're both faggots and won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, people walking in
singin a bar of Restaurant and walking out. They may think it's an
organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty a day,I said
fifty people a day walking in a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out. And they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Restaurant Anti-Massacre Movement, and
all you got to do to is sing it the next time it come's around on the
guitar.

With feeling. So we'll wait for it to come on the guitar, here and
sing it it does. Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible. If you to end war and stuff you got to sing loud.
I've singing this song now for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for twenty five minutes. I'm not proud... or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this with four part
and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what doing.

All now.

You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Excepting
You can get anything you want, at Restaurant
Walk right in it's the back
Just a half a mile the railroad track
You can get you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's