Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Shop
You the place

anyway,
Back then life was swell
And was just peachy!

Except of course for the fact
every single morning
My mother make me a big ol' bowl of
kraut for breakfast

Big of sauer kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me like a cow
At an oncoming
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauer
I was twenty-six and a half years old

That's when I swore someday,
Someday I would get that basement
And to a magical, far away place,
Where the sun is shining
And the air smells warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their all day long
And on the street
gladly shave your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all my dream came true
Because the next day,
A local radio station had this
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Leonard butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand
That's right, a first class, ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real before
And I gotta ya
It was great

that I had to sit
Between two Albanian women
With severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the time
The flight ran out of
Dr. and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a
And into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a fireball
And died!
Except for me. You why?

I had my tray table up
And my seat in the full upright position
Had my table up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I crawled on my hands and
For full days
Draggin' along my big suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound bowlin'
And my lucky, autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the world
Albuquerque Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who could be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I hate it I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't that!
snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he off my eyebrows
And I took out his
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you believe it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you what it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If like to make a call,
Please hang up and try
If you help,
Hang up and then dial your
If you'd like to make a
Please up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and then dial your
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got with my snorkel
But I a solemn vow
Right and there
I would not rest,
I would not for an instant,
Until the man
Was to justice
But first, I decided to buy some

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're outta claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately onto my face
And bitin' me all over

Oh, man, they just goin' nuts!
were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just that time
that a little ditty started through my head
I believe it went a little somethin' this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With these flesh-eating
All my face,
Wavin' my all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as would have it,
That's when I ran into
The of my dreams
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And hair the color of strained

I'll forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

That's when I knew it was true

We inseparable after that
Aw, we ate
We together
We even shared the piece
Of mint-flavored dental
The world was our

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm not ready for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really
up for me,
Because about a later
I finally my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a job
At the Sizzler!

I even made employee of the
After I put out that fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was pretty
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my excess
a golf pencil,
When I see this guy
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I supposed to that?
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A cute nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining

Say, that reminds me of amusing anecdote
guy comes up to me on the street
And he me he hasn't had a bite
In three

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I a big bite
Out of his vein
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some people can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find yourself in an quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can take a small bit of
In knowing that somewhere out there in
Crazy ol' universe of ours,
still a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!