Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a block down the street Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back life was going swell
And was just peachy!

Except of course for the fact
every single morning
My would make me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She looked at me like a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And force fed me but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a half old

That's when I swore someday,
I would get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far place,
Where the sun is always
And the air smells like root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the shriners and the
Play their ukuleles all day
And on the street
Will shave your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't at all before my dream came true
Because the very day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real before
And I gotta ya
It was great

Except I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we into a tailspin
And crashed into a
And the plane exploded in a fireball
And died!
Except for me. You know

'Cause I had my table up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I crawled on my hands and
For full days
Draggin' along my big suitcase
And my bag
And my saxophone
And my 12-pound ball
And my lucky, lucky glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That little mint on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a on the door

Well, now, who could be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin'

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He into my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I out his appendix
And he me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And twenty later,
I heard a voice
And you what it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If like to make a call,
Please hang up and try
If you help,
Hang up and dial your operator
If like to make a call
hang up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got away with my
But I made a vow
Right then and
I would not rest,
I would not for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I decided to buy donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove over to the shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the jump out
And they immediately onto my face
And start bitin' me all

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
They were me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about that
that a little ditty goin' through my head
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With these weasels
All my face,
Wavin' my all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a wiener dog

And as luck would it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And the color of strained peaches

I'll never
The very first
She to me
She said, "Hey,
got weasels on your face."

That's I knew it was true love

We were inseparable that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even shared the piece
Of dental floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, really started
up for me,
Because about a later
I finally achieved my dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even made of the month
After I put out grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, was pretty jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my earwax
With a pencil,
When I see guy Marty
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was just sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I supposed to that?
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A cute nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining

Say, that reminds me of another anecdote
This guy up to me on the street
And he tells me he had a bite
In days

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his vein
And he's and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he just keeps rolling on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, completely
The of the whole situation
Man, some just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And yourself in an existential quandry,
Full of loathing and
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can a small bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out there in
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
There's still a place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!