Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a block down the from Jerry's Bait Shop
You the place

anyway,
Back then life was swell
And everything was peachy!

of course for the undeniable fact
That every single
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big of sauer kraut!
Every mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she leaned right next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And she tied me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my
And force fed me nothing but sauer
Until I was and a half years old

when I swore that someday,
Someday I get outta that basement
And to a magical, far away place,
Where the sun is shining
And the air like warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their all day long
And anyone on the
Will gladly your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all my dream came true
Because the very day,
A local radio had this contest
To see who could correctly the number
Of molecules in Leonard butt

I was off by three, but I won the grand prize
That's right, a class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real airplane
And I tell ya
It was great

Except I had to sit
Between two Albanian women
With excruciatingly body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the time
The flight ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we into a tailspin
And into a hillside
And the plane in a giant fireball
And died!
for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my table up
And my seat in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the full position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I crawled on my and knees
For three days
Draggin' my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my saxophone
And my 12-pound bowlin'
And my lucky, lucky glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But I arrived at the world famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
Right out of the ashtrays if you
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
That I so very, very much,
When suddenly a knock on the door

Well, now, who could be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's big, fat hermaphrodite
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been just like a to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a colonic
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And twenty later,
I heard a voice
And you know what it
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd to make a call,
Please up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and then dial operator
If you'd like to a call
Please up and try again.
If you help
up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got away my snorkel
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was to justice
But first, I decided to buy donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they latch onto my face
And bitin' me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
They tearin' me apart!
You know,
I it was just about that time
that a little ditty started through my head
I believe it a little somethin' like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
With these flesh-eating
All my face,
Wavin' my arms all
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a wiener dog

And as would have it,
That's when I ran into
The of my dreams
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And the color of strained peaches

I'll forget
The very thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
got weasels on your face."

That's when I knew it was love

We were after that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even the same piece
Of mint-flavored dental
The world was our

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because about a later
I achieved my lifelong dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even made employee of the
After I put out that fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
a golf pencil,
When I see this guy
Tryin' to carry a big ol'
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I to know that?
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A cute nickname - Torso-Boy!
So he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the
And he tells me he had a bite
In three

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his jugular
And he's and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, completely
The irony of the whole
Man, some people can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I it's kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the point I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you to wake up
And yourself in an existential quandry,
Full of and self-doubt
And with the pain and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At you can take a small bit of comfort
In that somewhere out there in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
still a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!