Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way when I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then life was swell
And everything was peachy!

Except of course for the undeniable
every single morning
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer kraut for

Big bowl of kraut!
Every mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And a funnel in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but kraut
I was twenty-six and a half years old

That's when I that someday,
Someday I get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far place,
Where the sun is always
And the air smells like warm beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their all day long
And anyone on the
Will gladly shave your for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my came true
Because the very day,
A local radio station had contest
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a first class, one-way
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real airplane
And I tell ya
It was great

Except I had to sit
Between two large women
With excruciatingly severe odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the whole
The flight ran out of
Dr. and salted peanuts
And the in-flight was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines out
And we into a tailspin
And into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a giant
And died!
Except for me. You know

'Cause I had my tray up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my table up
And my back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I on my hands and knees
For full days
Draggin' my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Albuquerque Inn!
the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm about to eat
That little chocolate mint on my
That I so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin'

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And only one
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he off my eyebrows
And I out his appendix
And he me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you believe it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got off the hook
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you know it said?
I'll tell ya it said!

It said, "If like to make a call,
Please up and try again
If you help,
up and then dial your operator
If you'd to make a call
Please up and try again.
If you help
Hang up and then dial operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got with my snorkel
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I would not for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was to justice
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch my face
And start me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
They tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was about that time
that a ditty started goin' through my head
I believe it a little somethin' like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
these flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
Wavin' my arms all
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as would have it,
exactly when I ran into
The girl of my
Her was Zelda

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And hair the color of peaches

I'll never
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got on your face."

That's I knew it was true love

We were after that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We shared the same piece
Of dental floss
The world was our

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Columbia Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But just the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because about a later
I finally my lifelong dream
That's right, I got me a job
At the Sizzler!

I even made of the month
After I put out grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my excess
a golf pencil,
When I see guy Marty
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to help you that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So he complaining about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing
This guy comes up to me on the
And he me he hasn't had a bite
In three

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I a big bite
Out of his jugular
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he just rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The of the whole situation
Man, some people just take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find in an existential quandry,
Full of and self-doubt
And wracked the pain and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At you can take a small bit of comfort
In knowing that out there in this
Crazy ol' universe of ours,
still a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!