Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way when I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Bait
You the place

anyway,
Back life was going swell
And was just peachy!

Except of course for the fact
That every single
My mother would make me a big ol' of
Sauer kraut for

Big of sauer kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just at me like a cow looks
At an train
And she leaned right next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she tied me to the
And stuck a funnel in my
And fed me nothing but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a years old

That's when I that someday,
Someday I would get outta that
And to a magical, far away place,
the sun is always shining
And the air smells warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

the shriners and the lepers
Play ukuleles all day long
And on the street
Will gladly shave your for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my dream true
the very next day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a first class, ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real before
And I gotta ya
It was great

Except I had to sit
Between two large women
excruciatingly severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the time
The flight ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we into a tailspin
And into a hillside
And the plane exploded in a fireball
And died!
Except for me. You know

I had my tray table up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my table up
And my seat in the full upright position
Had my table up
And my back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I on my hands and knees
For three full
Draggin' my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my bowlin' ball
And my lucky, lucky glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But I arrived at the world famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a on the door

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He into my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you can't that!
That snorkel's just like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I took out his
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you know what it
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If like to make a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and then dial operator
If you'd to make a call
Please up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got with my snorkel
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I decided to buy donuts

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, outta apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch onto my
And start bitin' me all

Oh, man, they were goin' nuts!
They tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just that time
that a little ditty started goin' through my
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
these flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as luck would it,
That's exactly I ran into
The of my dreams
Her was Zelda

She was a enthusiast,
a slight overbite,
And hair the color of peaches

I'll never
The very first
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

That's when I it was true love

We were inseparable after
Aw, we ate
We together
We even the same piece
Of mint-flavored floss
The world was our

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you join the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things really
up for me,
Because a week later
I finally achieved my dream
That's right, I got me a job
At the Sizzler!

I made employee of the month
After I put out that grease
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
to remove my excess earwax
With a pencil,
I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I supposed to that?
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A really nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he about?

Say, reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the
And he tells me he had a bite
In three

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I a big bite
Out of his jugular
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the situation
Man, some people just take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I it's kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And yourself in an existential quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked the pain and isolation
Of pitiful meaningless existence,
At least you can take a small bit of
In that somewhere out there in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
There's still a little
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!