Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way when I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house a block down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And was just peachy!

Except of course for the undeniable
every single morning
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She looked at me like a cow looks
At an train
And she leaned right down to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And force fed me nothing but sauer
Until I was twenty-six and a years old

when I swore that someday,
Someday I would get that basement
And to a magical, far away place,
the sun is always shining
And the air like warm root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

the shriners and the lepers
Play ukuleles all day long
And anyone on the
Will gladly your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all before my came true
Because the next day,
A local radio station had this
To see who could correctly the number
Of in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand
That's right, a first class, ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real airplane
And I tell ya
It was really

that I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With excruciatingly body odor
And the kid in back of me
throwin' up the whole time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane burned out
And we went into a
And crashed into a
And the plane exploded in a giant
And died!
Except for me. You know

'Cause I had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat in the full upright position
Had my table up
And my seat back in the full upright

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I crawled on my hands and
For three days
along my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my saxophone
And my bowlin' ball
And my lucky, autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the world
Albuquerque Inn!
the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's big, fat hermaphrodite
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been just like a to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you believe it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And seconds later,
I heard a familiar
And you know it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
up and then dial your operator
If you'd like to a call
hang up and try again.
If you need
up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got away my snorkel
But I made a vow
Right and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
Until the man
Was brought to
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch my face
And start me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was about that time
that a little ditty started goin' my head
I it went a little somethin' like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a constipated dog

And as would have it,
That's when I ran into
The of my dreams
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And hair the of strained peaches

never forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

That's when I it was true love

We were inseparable after
Aw, we ate
We together
We even shared the piece
Of dental floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for that of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But that's just the way go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, really started
up for me,
Because a week later
I achieved my lifelong dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I made employee of the month
After I put out that grease
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
a golf pencil,
When I see this guy
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to help you that?"
And Marty, he just his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he about?

Say, that me of another amusing anecdote
guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he had a bite
In three

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I a big bite
Out of his vein
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he just keeps around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the point I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find in an existential quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your meaningless existence,
At least you can take a small bit of
In knowing that somewhere out there in
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!