Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way when I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the of the basement
In the house half a down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then life was going
And was just peachy!

Except of for the undeniable fact
That every single
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
kraut for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an train
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my
And fed me nothing but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a half old

That's when I swore someday,
Someday I get outta that basement
And to a magical, far away place,
Where the sun is always
And the air smells like root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

the shriners and the lepers
Play their all day long
And anyone on the
Will gladly your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It long at all before my dream came true
Because the next day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could correctly guess the
Of molecules in Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I won the grand prize
That's right, a first class, ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd never
On a real airplane
And I gotta ya
It was really

that I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept throwin' up the whole
The flight ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight movie was with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we went into a
And into a hillside
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
Except for me. You why?

'Cause I had my table up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my table up
And my seat back in the full position
Had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I on my hands and knees
For full days
Draggin' along my big suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
Right out of the if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I into my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
That I so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin'

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He into my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I took out his
And he gave me a colonic
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got off the hook
And seconds later,
I heard a familiar
And you know it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If like to make a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and dial your operator
If you'd to make a call
Please up and try again.
If you need
up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got away with my
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was to justice
But first, I decided to buy some

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any Bavarian donuts?"
He said, "No, outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're outta rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in that
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is this box of one
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the jump out
And immediately latch onto my face
And bitin' me all over

Oh, man, were just goin' nuts!
They were me apart!
You know,
I it was just about that time
that a little ditty started goin' through my
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
With flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as would have it,
exactly when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
a slight overbite,
And hair the of strained peaches

I'll forget
The very thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got on your face."

That's when I knew it was love

We were inseparable after
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even shared the piece
Of mint-flavored dental
The world was our

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna the Columbia Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But that's just the way go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because about a week
I finally achieved my lifelong
That's right, I got me a job
At the Sizzler!

I even made employee of the
After I put out grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
a golf pencil,
When I see guy Marty
to carry a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was just sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I supposed to that?
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So he complaining about?

Say, that me of another amusing anecdote
guy comes up to me on the street
And he tells me he had a bite
In three

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his vein
And he's and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some people can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda my train of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the point I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find in an existential quandry,
Full of and self-doubt
And wracked the pain and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can take a bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
still a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!