Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back I was just a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a block down the from Jerry's Bait Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then life was going
And was just peachy!

of course for the undeniable fact
That every single
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
kraut for breakfast

Big of sauer kraut!
Every mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just at me like a cow looks
At an oncoming
And she leaned right down to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a in my mouth
And fed me nothing but sauer kraut
I was twenty-six and a half years old

That's when I swore someday,
Someday I would get outta that
And to a magical, far away place,
the sun is always shining
And the air smells like root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their all day long
And on the street
Will gladly your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't long at all my dream came true
Because the very day,
A local station had this contest
To see who could correctly the number
Of in Leonard Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the grand
That's right, a first class, one-way
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real airplane
And I tell ya
It was great

Except I had to sit
Between two Albanian women
With severe body odor
And the kid in back of me
Kept up the whole time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. and salted peanuts
And the in-flight was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, of the airplane engines burned out
And we went a tailspin
And into a hillside
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my table up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my table up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my tray up
And my seat in the full upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I on my hands and knees
For full days
Draggin' my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my bowlin' ball
And my lucky, lucky glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
Right out of the ashtrays if you
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm about to eat
That little chocolate on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who could be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
some big, fat hermaphrodite
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He into my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's just like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I out his appendix
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got off the hook
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you know what it
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
Please up and try again
If you help,
up and then dial your operator
If you'd like to a call
hang up and try again.
If you need
up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got with my snorkel
But I made a vow
then and there
That I not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
Until the man
Was brought to
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, outta glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch my face
And start me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about that
that a little ditty started through my head
I believe it went a little like this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
With these weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a constipated dog

And as luck would it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And hair the color of peaches

never forget
The very thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

That's when I knew it was love

We inseparable after that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even the same piece
Of dental floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we bought us a
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, very happy, oh

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Columbia Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But that's just the way go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even employee of the month
After I put out that fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my earwax
a golf pencil,
When I see guy Marty
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to help you that?"
And Marty, he just rolls his
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he gets all on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was just sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I to know that?
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really nickname - Torso-Boy!
So what's he about?

Say, that reminds me of another amusing
This guy up to me on the street
And he tells me he had a bite
In three

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his vein
And he's yelling and
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, come on, get it?"
But he just rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, completely
The irony of the situation
Man, people just can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And yourself in an existential quandry,
Full of and self-doubt
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can take a bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out in this
ol' mixed-up universe of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!