Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a block down the street from Bait Shop
You the place

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And was just peachy!

Except of course for the fact
That every morning
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
kraut for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just looked at me a cow looks
At an train
And she leaned right next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my
And force fed me nothing but sauer
Until I was twenty-six and a half old

when I swore that someday,
Someday I would get outta that
And travel to a magical, far place,
Where the sun is always
And the air smells like root beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the shriners and the
Play ukuleles all day long
And on the street
gladly shave your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It long at all before my dream came true
Because the next day,
A radio station had this contest
To see who could correctly the number
Of molecules in Leonard butt

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a first class, one-way
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd been
On a real airplane
And I gotta ya
It was really

Except I had to sit
two large Albanian women
With severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
throwin' up the whole time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and peanuts
And the movie was Bio-Dome with Pauly Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the airplane burned out
And we went into a
And crashed into a
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
Except for me. You know

'Cause I had my table up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the full upright
Had my table up
And my seat back in the full upright

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I on my hands and knees
For full days
Draggin' along my big leather
And my bag
And my saxophone
And my 12-pound bowlin'
And my lucky, lucky glow-in-the-dark snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Albuquerque Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm about to eat
That chocolate mint on my pillow
That I love so very, much,
When suddenly there's a knock on the

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's big, fat hermaphrodite
With a of seagulls, haircut,
And one nostril
Oh, man, I it when I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he my lucky snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That been just like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I took out his
And he me a colonic irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got knocked off the
And seconds later,
I heard a voice
And you know it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and then dial operator
If you'd like to a call
hang up and try again.
If you need
Hang up and then your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a long short,
He got away my snorkel
But I made a vow
Right and there
That I not rest,
I would not for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I decided to buy some

So I got in my car
And I drove over to the shop
And I walked on up to the guy the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're glazed donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, outta jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta Bavarian donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the weasels out
And they immediately latch onto my
And start me all over

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
They tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just about time
that a little ditty started goin' through my
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
Wavin' my all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
Like a constipated dog

And as would have it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her name was

She was a enthusiast,
a slight overbite,
And hair the color of strained

never forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
got weasels on your face."

That's I knew it was true love

We were inseparable after
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even the same piece
Of mint-flavored floss
The world was our

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we so very, very, very happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Columbia Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because a week later
I finally achieved my lifelong
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even made of the month
After I put out that fire
my face!

Aw yeah, was pretty jealous
Of me after
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to remove my earwax
With a pencil,
I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he gets all on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was being sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For cryin' out

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So what's he complaining

Say, that reminds me of another anecdote
This guy comes up to me on the
And he tells me he hasn't had a
In days

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his jugular
And he's and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The irony of the whole
Man, some people can't take a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole I'm tryin' to make here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you to wake up
And find yourself in an quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your meaningless existence,
At least you can take a bit of comfort
In knowing somewhere out there in this
Crazy ol' mixed-up of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!