Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was just a bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a down the street from Jerry's Bait Shop
You the place

anyway,
Back then was going swell
And everything was peachy!

Except of for the undeniable fact
every single morning
My mother would me a big ol' bowl of
Sauer for breakfast

Big of sauer kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, what's up all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She looked at me like a cow looks
At an train
And she leaned down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she me to the wall
And stuck a funnel in my
And force fed me but sauer kraut
Until I was twenty-six and a half old

That's I swore that someday,
Someday I would get outta basement
And to a magical, far away place,
the sun is always shining
And the air smells like warm beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
their ukuleles all day long
And on the street
gladly shave your back for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It long at all before my dream came true
Because the very day,
A local radio station had this
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Nimoy's butt

I was off by three, but I still won the prize
That's right, a first class, ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd never
On a real airplane
And I gotta ya
It was really

that I had to sit
Between two large women
With excruciatingly severe odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept up the whole time
The flight ran out of
Dr. and salted peanuts
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Shore
And, oh yeah, three of the engines burned out
And we went into a
And into a hillside
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my table up
And my back in the full upright position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I crawled from the twisted, burnin',
I crawled on my hands and
For three days
Draggin' my big leather suitcase
And my bag
And my tenor
And my bowlin' ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I at the world famous
Holiday Inn!
Where the are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat soup
Right out of the ashtrays if you
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I down the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
That little chocolate on my pillow
I love so very, very much,
When suddenly a knock on the door

Well, now, who could be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" There's no
"WHO IS IT!?" not sayin' anything

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's some big, fat
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And only one
Oh, man, I hate it I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been like a snorkel to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he my esophagus
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I took out his
And he gave me a irrigation
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And somehow in the of it all
The phone got off the hook
And seconds later,
I a familiar voice
And you know it said?
tell ya what it said!

It said, "If you'd like to a call,
Please hang up and try
If you help,
Hang up and then your operator
If you'd like to a call
Please up and try again.
If you need
up and then dial your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got with my snorkel
But I made a vow
Right then and
I would not rest,
I would not for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was brought to
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I drove to the donut shop
And I on up to the guy behind the counter
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're outta donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, outta Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, we're cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're outta fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, we're bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In case, what do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
crazed weasels."
I said, "Okay, take that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the jump out
And they latch onto my face
And start bitin' me all

Oh, man, they were just nuts!
They were me apart!
You know,
I think it was about that time
that a little ditty started goin' through my
I believe it went a little somethin' like

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out the street
these flesh-eating weasels
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as luck would it,
That's when I ran into
The girl of my
Her was Zelda

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And the color of strained peaches

never forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got weasels on face."

when I knew it was true love

We were inseparable that
Aw, we ate
We bathed
We even shared the same
Of dental floss
The world was our

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
Nathaniel and
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
Zelda to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Record Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not ready for kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I saw her again
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, really started
up for me,
Because about a week
I achieved my lifelong dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I made employee of the month
I put out that grease fire
my face!

Aw yeah, everybody was jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
Tryin' to my excess earwax
With a pencil,
I see this guy Marty
Tryin' to a big ol' sofa
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you want me to you with that?"
And Marty, he just his eyes
And goes, "No, I want you to cut off my arms and legs a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And then he gets all on me
like, "Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!"
Well, just great.
How was I to know that?
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A really cute - Torso-Boy!
So what's he about?

Say, reminds me of another amusing anecdote
This guy up to me on the street
And he tells me he hasn't had a
In days

Well, I what he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his jugular
And yelling and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he just keeps rolling on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, missing
The of the whole situation
Man, some people just can't take a joke, you

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know kind of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make is

I SAUERKRAUT!

all I'm really tryin' to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find in an existential quandry,
of loathing and self-doubt
And wracked with the and isolation
Of your meaningless existence,
At least you can take a small bit of
In knowing that somewhere out there in
Crazy ol' universe of ours,
There's still a place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!