Luyện nghe bài hát Albuquerque

Way back when I was a little bitty boy
in a box
Under the
In the corner of the
In the house half a block down the street from Jerry's Shop
You know the

anyway,
Back then life was swell
And everything was peachy!

Except of course for the fact
That every single
My mother would make me a big ol' of
kraut for breakfast

Big bowl of kraut!
single mornin'!
It was me crazy!
And I to my mom,
I said, "Hey, mom, up with all the sauerkraut?"

And my dear, mother,
She just at me like a cow looks
At an train
And she right down next to me
And she said, "IT'S FOR YOU!"

And then she tied me to the
And stuck a funnel in my
And force fed me but sauer kraut
I was twenty-six and a half years old

That's when I swore someday,
Someday I get outta that basement
And travel to a magical, far place,
the sun is always shining
And the air smells like warm beer,
And the are oh so fluffy!

Where the and the lepers
Play their all day long
And anyone on the
Will gladly shave your for a nickel!

wacka, doo doo, yeah!

Well, let me you, people,
It wasn't at all before my dream came true
Because the next day,
A local radio had this contest
To see who could guess the number
Of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's

I was off by three, but I still won the grand
That's right, a class, one-way ticket
To Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Oh
You know, I'd never
On a real before
And I tell ya
It was really

Except I had to sit
Between two large Albanian
With severe body odor
And the little kid in of me
Kept up the whole time
The attendants ran out of
Dr. Pepper and salted
And the in-flight movie was Bio-Dome with Shore
And, oh yeah, of the airplane engines burned out
And we went into a
And into a hillside
And the exploded in a giant fireball
And died!
for me. You know why?

'Cause I had my tray up
And my seat back in the full position
Had my tray up
And my seat back in the upright position
Had my table up
And my seat back in the upright position

Ah-ha-ha-ha!
Ah-ha-ha!

So I from the twisted, burnin', wreckage
I crawled on my hands and
For full days
Draggin' along my big leather
And my bag
And my tenor
And my 12-pound ball
And my lucky, lucky autographed snorkel!

But finally I arrived at the famous
Albuquerque Inn!
the towels are oh so fluffy!
And you can eat your
out of the ashtrays if you wanna
It's okay, clean!

Well, I checked my room,
And I turned the A/C,
And I on the SpectraVision,
And I'm just to eat
little chocolate mint on my pillow
That I so very, very much,
When there's a knock on the door

Well, now, who that be?
I say, "Who is it?" No
"Who is it?" no answer
"WHO IS IT!?" They're not sayin'

So finally, I go
And I the door,
And as I suspected,
It's big, fat hermaphrodite
a flock of seagulls, haircut,
And only one
Oh, man, I hate it I'm right!

So, anyway,
He bursts my room,
And he grabs my snorkel,
And I'm like, "Hey, you have that!
That snorkel's been just like a to me!"

And like, "Tough!"
And I'm like, "Give it!"
And like, "Make me!"
And I'm like, "'Kay!"

So I his leg
And he grabbed my
And I bit off his ear
And he chewed off my
And I took out his
And he gave me a colonic
Yes indeed-y, you better it!

And in the middle of it all
The phone got off the hook
And twenty later,
I a familiar voice
And you know it said?
I'll tell ya it said!

It said, "If you'd to make a call,
hang up and try again
If you help,
Hang up and dial your operator
If you'd to make a call
hang up and try again.
If you help
Hang up and then your operator
In Albuquerque!"
Albuquerque!

Well, to cut a story short,
He got away my snorkel
But I a solemn vow
Right and there
I would not rest,
I not sleep for an instant,
the one-nostrilled man
Was to justice
But first, I to buy some donuts

So I got in my car
And I over to the donut shop
And I walked on up to the guy behind the
And he says, "Yeah, want?"

I said, "You got any donuts?"
He said, "Nah, we're outta donuts."
I say, "Well, you got any donuts?"
He said, "No, we're jelly donuts."
I said, "You got any cream-filled donuts?"
He said, "No, we're Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
I said, "You got any rolls?"
He said, "No, outta cinnamon rolls!"
I said, "You got any fritters?"
He said, "No, we're apple fritters!"
I said, "You got any claws?"
He said, "Wait a minute, go check."

"Naw, outta bear claws!"

I said, "Well, in case
In that case, do you have?"
He says, "All I got now
Is box of one dozen
Starving weasels."
I said, "Okay, I'll that."

So he me the box,
And I up the lid,
And the jump out
And they immediately onto my face
And start me all over

Oh, man, were just goin' nuts!
were tearin' me apart!
You know,
I think it was just that time
that a little started goin' through my head
I believe it went a little somethin' this:

DOH!
Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!
Ohhh!
No, get 'em off, get 'em off!
Oh, oh God, oh God!
Oh, get 'em off me! Oh, oh God!
Ah, aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

I ran out into the
With these flesh-eating
All my face,
my arms all around
And runnin', runnin', runnin',
a constipated wiener dog

And as luck have it,
That's when I ran into
The of my dreams
Her was Zelda

She was a enthusiast,
With a overbite,
And the color of strained peaches

I'll forget
The first thing
She to me
She said, "Hey,
You've got on your face."

That's when I knew it was true

We inseparable after that
Aw, we ate
We together
We even shared the piece
Of mint-flavored floss
The was our burrito

So we got married,
And we us a house
And had two children,
and Superfly
Oh we were so very, very, happy, oh yeah

But then, one night,
said to me, she said,
"Sweetie
Do you wanna join the Columbia Club?"
I said, "Woah! on now, baby!
I'm just not for that kind of a commitment!"

So we up,
And I never saw her
But that's the way things go
In Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!

Anyway, things started
up for me,
Because about a later
I finally my lifelong dream
right, I got me a part-time job
At the Sizzler!

I even made of the month
After I put out that fire
my face!

Aw yeah, was pretty jealous
Of me that
I was a lot of attitude.

Okay, one time,
I was out in the lot,
to remove my excess earwax
With a pencil,
When I see guy Marty
Tryin' to carry a big ol'
Up the all by himself.

So I-I say to him,
I say, "Hey, you me to help you with that?"
And Marty, he rolls his eyes
And goes, "No, I you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!"

So I did.

And he gets all indignant on me
He's like, "Hey, man, I was just sarcastic!"
Well, that's great.
How was I supposed to know
I'm not a reader,
For out loud

Besides, now got
A really nickname - Torso-Boy!
So he complaining about?

Say, that me of another amusing anecdote
guy comes up to me on the street
And he me he hasn't had a bite
In days

Well, I knew he meant,
But to be funny,
I took a big
Out of his vein
And yelling and screaming
And all over,
And I'm like, "Hey, on, don'tcha get it?"
But he keeps rolling around on the sidewalk,
and screaming, "Aaaahhhh! AaaaahhhhOhhhhh! Aaaaahhhh!"
You know, completely
The irony of the whole
Man, some people just can't a joke, you know?

Anyway, um...
was I?
Kinda lost my of thought.

Uh, well, uh, OK, anyway,
I-I know it's of a roundabout way
Of it, but,
I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to here is

I SAUERKRAUT!

That's all I'm really to say
And, by the way,
if one day you happen to up
And find yourself in an quandry,
Full of and self-doubt
And wracked the pain and isolation
Of your pitiful existence,
At least you can a small bit of comfort
In knowing that somewhere out in this
ol' mixed-up universe of ours,
There's a little place
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque!
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)
Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!)

I A! (A!)
L! (L!)
B! (B!)
U! (U!)
... querque! (querque!)

(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
(Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque, Albuquerque)
Al...buquerque!