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Last Christmas I went up,
For a little vacation, and boy I love Shania
Boy I you what, oh she makes me hornier
Than a watchin' baywatch

But I read her letter in the hotel room
I had one of these nice fancy
So I to seduce her and sent her this letter
This is my to Shania and she actually got this letter

Dear Shania, you're finer than hell, I'd eat your
You think I'm kiddin', I that charmer off the bat
I'd treat you like a prize hog
And give you the run of my home estate where I live down

Off the infested lake, tell you what
They caught a big oh sixteen foot long
In lake by me, dats right, we're talkin' world record gator
Tell me now you ain't got hard nipples, from our stay

Tell you what Shania, I ain't like Niceville pussys
I'd treat you all the best things life had to
Please call me, here, I'm at the Chugg-A-Lugg Inn
Across from that big muffler

Boy I got me one of them wigglin'
I tell you what if you want one sperge
And borrow you a couple of quarters, fifty cents give you
Almost 10 of bed wigglin', you know vibratin'

To let you know I mean business,
'Bout datin' you know and to let ya that
I ain't know hard up scumball
I even closed a couple of in this fancy
Chugg-A-Lugg Inn envolope

Thats there's a bunch of coupons
For fancy Longjohn service restroom down the street
And let me tell you sumethin' and if don't ever use that one
in there for extra Hushpuppies

Send that son of a bitch back 'cause I give that to my sister
And her husband for anniversary
There's also a Reggan bumper sticker in
And a bunch of and tits to get her done lick on tattoos

I had a made up special, I your fine, now call me
Don't call out one o'clock though
I'm usually on the phone
Talkin' to one of them 900 talk girls

in Christ
Larry the guy

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