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Last Christmas I went up,
For a vacation, and boy I love Shania Twain
Boy I tell you what, oh she makes me
a retard watchin' baywatch

But anyway I read her letter in the room
I had one of these nice fancy
So I tried to her and sent her this letter
This is my letter to Shania and she actually got letter

Dear Shania, you're finer than hell, I'd eat your
You think I'm kiddin', I figured charmer off the bat
I'd treat you a prize winnin' hog
And give you the run of my home estate where I live here

Off the alagator infested lake, tell you
They caught a big oh sixteen foot long
In lake by me, dats right, we're talkin' world record gator
Tell me now you ain't got hard nipples, our home stay

Tell you what Shania, I like them Niceville pussys
I'd treat you all the best things life had to
call me, here, I'm stayin' at the Chugg-A-Lugg Inn
Across from that big muffler

Boy I got me one of them beds
I you what if you want one I'll sperge
And borrow you a couple of quarters, fifty cents will you
Almost 10 mintues of bed wigglin', you know

To let you I mean business, Shania
'Bout datin' you know and to let ya that
I ain't know lowlie up scumball
I closed a couple of gifts in this fancy
Chugg-A-Lugg Inn Hotel

Thats right there's a of coupons
For that fancy Longjohn service restroom down the
And let me tell you sumethin' and if don't ever use that one
That's in there for extra

Send that son of a back 'cause I might give that to my sister
And her husband for their
There's also a Reggan sticker in there
And a bunch of gritch and tits to get her done lick on

I had a made up special, I think fine, now call me
call out tell one o'clock though
'Cause I'm usually on the
Talkin' to one of them 900 dirty girls

Love in
Larry the guy

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