Well, either you're closing eyes To a you do now wish to acknowledge Or you are not of the caliber of disaster indicated By the presence of a table in your community. Ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly mighty I say I'm always mighty to say it. I consider that the hours I a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate sense And a cool head and a eye. take and try to give An leave to yourself a three-reail billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to In a game, I say any b___ kin take And shove a in a pocket. And they that sloth. The first big on the road To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, wine from a teaspoon, Then beer a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him about horse-race gamblin'. Not a wholesome race, no! But a race they set down right on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, lemme tell you I mean. Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets mark the diff'rence a gentlemen and a b__, With a "B," And that rhymes with "P" and that for pool! And all long your River City Youth'll be away, I say your young be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' pulled Or the screen patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind any water 'Til your parents are caught with the empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, young ones, peekin' in the pool Hall after school, look, folks! Right here in City. Trouble with a "T" And that rhymes "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you are the right kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what kinda conversation On while they're loafin' that Hall? They're out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades Cigarette Feends! And braggin' all How they're gonna up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, they leave the hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! men and Scarlet women! And Rag-time, music That'll your son and your daughter With the arms of a jungle instink! Mass-staria! Friends, the brain is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! With a "T" That with "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed the warning it's too late! for the tell-tale sign of corruption! The your son leaves the house, Does he his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his finger? A novel hidden in the corn crib? Is he starting to jokes from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain words creeping into his like 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right here in city! With a "T" And that rhymes "P" And that for Pool. surely got trouble! Right here in City! Remember the Maine, Plymouth and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That game with the numbered b____ is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!