Well, either you're your eyes To a you do now wish to acknowledge Or you are not aware of the caliber of disaster By the presence of a pool table in community. Ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right here in City. Why I'm a billiard player, Certainly proud I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I consider that the I spend With a cue in my are golden. you cultivate horse sense And a cool and a keen eye. Never take and try to An leave to yourself a three-reail billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a game, I say any b___ kin take And a ball in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big on the road To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal from a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the thing ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And to some big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell about gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! to see some stuck-up jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, tell you what I mean. Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that the diff'rence Between a and a b__, a capital "B," And that with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week long your City be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, mind gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the screen door or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind pumpin' any your parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got and lots a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall after school, look, folks! Right in River City. Trouble with a "T" And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the kinda parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya like to what kinda conversation goes On while they're loafin' that Hall? tryin' out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor Mades like Feends! And braggin' all How gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One night, they leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! men and Scarlet women! And Rag-time, music That'll your son and your daughter the arms of a jungle animal instink! Mass-staria! Friends, the brain is the devil's playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That with "P" And stands for Pool, stands for pool. We've got trouble! Right here in City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! the warning before it's too late! Watch for the sign of corruption! The your son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his below the knee? Is a nicotine stain on his index finger? A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he starting to jokes from Capt. Whiz Bang? Are certain creeping into his conversation? like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right here in city! With a "T" And that with "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! here in River City! Remember the Maine, Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That with the fifteen numbered b____ is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it "P"! And that for Pool!!!