When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out it hurts so much to think of this
So from my thoughts I will exclude
The very thing that I hate more than everything is
The way I'm powerless to dictate my own moods

I've thrown away so many things
That could've been much more
And I just pray my problems go
Away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down, I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down, it hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

If and when I can
Clear myself of this clouded mind
I'll watch myself settle down into a place where
Peace can search me out and find
That I'm so ready to be found

I've thrown away the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away so many things
That could have been much more
I've thrown away the secret to find an end to this
And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
But that's not the way it works
No that's not the way it works

When I go down, I go down hard
And I take everything I've learned
And teach myself some disregard
When I go down, it hurts to hit the bottom
And of the things that got me there
I think, if only I had fought them

Any control I thought I had
Just slips right through my hands
While my ever-present conscience
Shakes its head and reprimands me
Reprimands me

Then and there I confess
I'll blame all this on my selfishness
Yet You love me and that consumes me
And I'll stand up again
And do so willingly

You give me hope, and hope it gives me life
You touch my heavy heart
And when You do You make it light
As I exhale I hear Your voice
And I answer You, though I hardly make a noise

And from my lips the words I choose to say
Seem pathetic, but it's fallen man's praise
Because I love You, oh God, I love You

And life is now worth living
If only because of You
And when they say that I'm dead and gone
It won't be further from the truth

When I go down I lift my eyes to You
I won't look very far 'cause You'll be there
With open arms to lift me up again
To life me up again