What The Hell Happened To Me

I used to ride a big wheel.
And sell lemonade.
Eat popcorn with Grandpa while we watched a parade.
But now I'm only happy when I'm drinkin' J.D.
What the hell happened to me?
I used to have fun throwing snowballs.
With my best friend Billy.
Then Mom would make us cocoa if we got too chilly.
But now I only get excited when I see a girl pee.
What the hell happened to me?
I used to be the nicest kid in the neighborhood.
I only did the things that Mama said I should.
But now I just do whatever I want.
I even whipped it out in a restaurant.
I used to help clean the park in the middle of town.
Then played kickball ' til the sun went down.
But now all I do is get VD.
What the hell happened to me?
It makes no sense.
I can't believe I ended up me.
I'm outta my gourd.
Won't somebody please help me.
I'm kind of a wierdo.