Three Nights Drunk

One, two, three

The first night that I come home
So drunk I could not see
Found a horse in my stable
Where my horse oughta be

"Come here, my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a horse in the stable
Where my horse oughta be?"

"You blind fool, you crazy fool
Can't you never see?
It's only a milk cow
Your granny sent to me"

I've traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
But a saddle upon a milk cow's back
I never did see before

The second night that I come home
So drunk I could not see
Found a coat a-hanging on the rack
Where my coat oughta be

"Come here, my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a coat a hanging a-hanging on the rack
Where my coat oughta be?"

"You blind fool, you crazy fool
Can't you never see?
It's only a bed quilt
Your granny sent to me"

I've traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
Pockets upon a bed quilt
I never did see before

The third night that I come home
So drunk, I could not see
Found a head a-laying on the pillow
Where my head oughta be

"Come here, my little wifey
Explain this thing to me
How come a head a-laying on the pillow
Where my head oughta be?"

"You blind fool, you crazy fool
Can't you never see?
It's only a cabbage head
Your granny sent to me"

I've traveled this world over
Ten thousand miles or more
But a mustache on a cabbage head
I never did see before