The Sun

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!

Lust- crazed and underaged in teenage rampage
(Extra! Extra! Read all about shit!)
Purgatory sex orgy, bible-bashing whorish Tories
(Milords, ladies, ladies, milords!)
Public virtue, private vice, animal sacrifice
Muslim terror, horror in the air and
Kylie is an alien.

Transvestites in the House of Commons
Margaret Thatcher, witches coven
(I told you not to do that, Denis)
A journey to hell through a virgin blood bath
(I was a teenage twelve-year-old)
Tie me up and tease me
"Rubber, please," says specialist
Athlete fails drug test
Trio in a love nest
Kylie is a Brussels sprout.

Reform girls eat castrated cocker spaniel
Minister in panty raid, schoolgirl scandal
Pervert! Vandal! Impaled on the handle!
Bug-eyed fruit-loops
We are at war with evil
We are at war with evil
We are at war with evil
Gotcha!

Here comes the Sun, the Guardian and the Truth
The Herald, The Times, delivered to me and you.
I read it all in letters ten foot tall
The news of the newspapers writing on the toilet walls

Siamese twins in incest torture chambers
("Hurt me, hurt my brother, just hurt my brother")
Herbal remedy for terminal cancer
Midget doctor, caesarean catastrophe
Test tube baby turns to black tar algae
(I didn't mean to hurt her, the bastards forced me)
Acupuncture proves to be cure for haemophilia
(What the fuck are you doing?
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm trying to help!)
Kyle has a sister
Dannii! Urrghh!

Quiet student real life pantyhose serial killer
("Norman, Norman, act like a man")
Violent sex crime and a cannibal dinner
(He puts the lotion on its skin and puts it in the basket)
Dwarf and giant in dirty sex video
Man dies of rust after eating auto
Polygamy for lager lout
(My friend is a Brussels sprout)
And Kylie is a poofter
And Jason is a hetero
(Ooh Jason!)

Boy, 5, gives birth to deformed older brother
Maltese girl, 13, great-great-grandmother
Sewerage system feeds a two-headed monster
Medal of honor for an armless butcher
We are at war with evil
We are at war with evil
Gotcha!

Here comes The Sun, the news of the world
The page three lady, she's a big big girl
I read it all in letters ten foot tall
The views of the newspapers smearing shit down toilet walls
Through the halls,
Across the floors,
Smearing shit over us all
All

Gotcha!