The Return

And they say they know me, get the fuck outta here.
Only God know what I've been through man.
So if you want to talk
Get your facts straight first
And if you really want to know
Let me ask you something

Have you ever walked in the shoes of a giant
Or had the fill the position of a boss before you were even a client?
Its no wonder growing up under the roof of a tyrant
That I would be the poster boy for defiance
Now in the voice of the silenced, fuck being quiet
I've seen twenty years worth of violence,
I'm tired it's a burden for me to open my eyelids
Not an under cover cop but it's safe to say that I'm wired.
I can't even get a grip on my life with pliers, I'm fucked up in the head
Close my eyes 'cause I see demons round my bed
So depressed, open 'em up, hopin' I'm dead
thought the fame would make it better, but it only fucked me over.
never used to touch a bottle, now I'm hardly ever sober.
People want to be my friend,
But where the fuck were y'all when I was ten, eleven and twelve getting bullied and beat up in the gym.
I couldn't never get a girl now all of a sudden I'm the man
students try to get back cool with me again
fuck 'em all.

'Cause guess where they're gonna be when my records Stop playin'
Gone with the wind off in the record shops saying that Kells fell off
I knew what would happen, stop hating
'cause a month ago you was all over my jock sayin'
That I'm that mu-fucker, but now I'm wack mu-fucker?
opinions change but you cannot change facts mu-fucker
if you want bullet points then call me a gat mu-fucker
I'll lay my whole life out like a mat mu-fucker
and I've experienced some things that will stop you from eating
my schizophrenic cousin tried to end my life while I'm sleeping
my bummy uncle wanna call now that he's sees me succeeding
my momma left me for a teacher lost my dad to the preaching
half my friends are buried six feet all the rest in the precinct
Literally watched my grandmother die from diabetes
I guess my prayers were answered when aunt got cancer and beat it
now I wanna get her out of there give her the Garden of Eden.
I did a lot of bad shit
God got even but for the price I had to pay
I wish I'd stopped breathing
My girl sat in the bath tub 8 hours bleeding
Hearin' the doctor tell us our child's heart stop beating.
Fuck a million, I wouldn't take a dollar for a life
But I will do what's in my heart and trade this dollar for a mic

I wrote this song in hopes that it could help someone get through the night
with no intention of getting paid, I'm doing what it's right
I do it for the fans, no, the real fans
who stuck with me through the storm
'cause they understand
That there's a genuine pain
Behind the words I'm sayin' and they embrace me
So I thank you all for stayin'
ain't it crazy that passion is my Achilles Heel?
either that or keepin' it way too real
But they don't know how It feels
To feed off the energy of a crowd
step on stage And they get loud
And dad, I'mma make you proud
I know we don't speak right now
But I think turning new leaves what we need right now
I love you and you may not see right now
But I'm begging for forgiveness
I'm on my knees right now
You saw your son as a drop out stuck around when I ran
Saw your son as a felon
Now see your son is a man
See you son be a father, to a beautiful child
Or just see your son, dad and see me smile.

Who would have thought what started at the bottom would someday grow
From three people in the crowd, unpaid shows
Six people in the room, one meal a day
another opening act when no one knows my name
saw the demo's that I passed out layin' on the ground
saw the rappers I be-friended copying my style
saw opportunities pass while these fakes got rich
Now I can't stop speeding like brakes ain't shit
for six months i went thru hell and back,
right at the height of my success all of a sudden doctor said I couldn't rap
I had a polyp on my vocal cords, left with a choice, stop now or possibly lose my voice
But I woke up every morning and recorded till my throat swelled shut
coughed blood after every show, because it hurt that much,
I went weeks without even sayin' a word to myself
No health insurance so doctor bills piled on the shelf
but for my daughter and my fam' and every single fan
I pushed through it and now I'm back for ya'll again
as for my competition this the beginning of the end
but right now this is my return, Amen

Kells