The Presidents

Heigh ho, do you know
The names of the U.S. residents
Who then became the presidents
And got a view from the White House loo
Of Pennsylvania Avenue?

George Washington was the first, you see
He once chopped down a cherry tree
President number two would be
John Adams and then number three

Tom Jefferson stayed up to write
The Declaration late at night
So he and his wife had a great big fight
And she made him sleep on the couch all night

James Madison never had a son
And he fought the War of 1812
James Monroe's colossal nose
Was bigger than Pinocchio's

John Quincy Adams was number six
And it's Andrew Jackson's butt he kicks
So Jackson learns to play politics
Next time he's the one that the country picks

Martin Van Buren, number eight
For a one-term shot as Chief of State
William Harrison, how do you praise?
That guy was dead in thirty days

John Tyler, he liked country folk
And after him came President Polk
Zachary Taylor liked to smoke
His breath killed friends whenever he spoke

Eighteen fifty, really nifty
Millard Fillmore's in
Young and fierce was Franklin Pierce
The man without a chin

Follows next a period spannin'
Four long years with James Buchanan
Then the South starts shootin' cannon
And we've got a civil war
A war, a war down south in Dixie

Up to bat comes old Abe Lincoln
There's a guy who's really thinkin'
Kept the United States from shrinkin'
Saved the ship of state from sinkin'

Andrew Johnson's next
He had some slight defects
Congress each would impeach
And so the country now elects

Ulysses Simpson Grant
Who would scream and rave and rant
While drinking whiskey although risky
'Cause he'd spill it on his pants

It's eighteen seventy-seven
And the Democrats would gloat
But they're all amazed when Rutherford Hayes
Wins by just one vote

James Garfield, someone really hated
'Cause he was assassinated
Chester Arthur gets instated
Four years later, he was traded

For Grover Cleveland, really fat
Elected twice as a Democrat
Then Benjamin Harrison, after that
It's William McKinley up to bat

Teddy Roosevelt charged up San Juan Hill
And President Taft, he got the bill
In 1913 Woodrow Wilson
takes us into World War One

Warren Harding next in line
It's Calvin Coolidge; he does fine
And then in nineteen twenty-nine
The market crashes and we find

It's Herbert Hoover's big debut
He gets the blame and loses too
Franklin Roosevelt, president who
Helped us win in World War Two

Harry Truman, weird little human
Serves two terms and when he's done
It's Eisenhower who's got the power
From fifty-three to sixty-one

John Kennedy had Camelot
Then Lyndon Johnson took his spot
Richard Nixon, he gets caught
And Gerald Ford fell down a lot

Jimmy Carter liked campaign trips
And Ronald Reagan's speeches' scripts
All came from famous movie clips
And President Bush said, "read my lips"

Now in Washington D.C.
There's Democrats and the G.O.P.
But the ones in charge are plain to see
The Clinton's, Bill and Hillary

The next president to lead the way
Well, it just might be yourself one day
Then the press will distort everything you say
So jump in your plane and fly away