The Old Folk's Home

I was playing XBOX with a couple of friends
when my mom called and said grandma's dying again
I told her, that sucks, and to say I said hi
Mom yelled at me and told me that I had to drop by
So off to the nursing home we drove in my car
There were sleeping dudes in wheelchairs all over the yard,
And inside, the halls was scary and creepily lit
it smelled like someone took a dump and then rotisserie'd it.
Then I found Granny's room and I went inside,
"Good to see you" she said, "You too" I lied
So she started talkin' about the stuff she ate this week
I stuck my friends with her and went to take a leak.
Pee'd all I could pee 'til I could no more,
So bored I opened up one of her cabinet drawers,
"Oh my God!" I shouted as I burst back in,
"Gram's got a prescription of Oxycontin?"
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned.
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been there more if only I'd known!
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned.
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been here more if only I'd known!
Old man Bernie likes to talk 'bout the Korean War,
And if he use all of his Percodan, he just gets more
And Miss Edna doesn't care for the blacks a lot
But she's got Glaucoma so she gets good pot.
Gladys here only has diabetes,
So the best you're gonna find is Tylenol 3's.
But, Karl is my man, he's got like AIDS in his brain,
And I swear to God that dude can even get cocaine.
So we rip a couple lines, put on some records,
Bitch about kids and talk 'bout the weather,
Steve craps his pants, we all leave the room,
We pass, I'll take naps, some nurses bring food.
Day after day as time goes on by,
Some people don't make it, we get sad and cry.
But new people move in and we all make friends,
with new stories, points of view, and prescriptions.
I guess the point is that the elderly are people too,
And you never know how long they're gonna be with you,
But they're sweet and they're lonely and they still need friends so be a good kid and go and visit them.
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned.
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been there more if only I'd known!
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
We can get doped up and then all get stoned.
Let's go to the Old Folk's home!
I'd have been here more if only I'd known!