The Maggot

Space man blow up

Oh, maggot, he's a modern day fagan
Turfin' out your pockets like a Christian burns a pagan
Drippin' with charm, style and panache
He'll leave you sore like a venereal rash

They tried to catch him, he says, time to dash
He always leaves a party with a wallet full of cash
He's a bastard but he's always lookin' flash
With his shoes like Dick Turpin across his waist he wears a sash

Sportin' top hat with a pocket watch too
With the tallest member of the Goldie lookin' crew
Watch out, if he's there when you're pissed
He learnt his science from the man, Oliver Twist

Of his crimes, we tried to compile a list
Sellin' sexy DVD's of a Willy being kissed
Stealin' pensions on the old and infirm

Made a fortune sellin' doctors fake sperm
Like Charles Dickens there's a lesson to be learned
Beware, the maggot 'cos the worm has turned

All of the youth shall witness the day that Babylon shall fall

Just like Jack, the Ripper he'll do you up a kipper
He's like a highway man holdin' up a Newport nipper
He's smarter than Sherlock Holmes or I TV's Taggart
I'm dapper refined and they call me the maggot

Turn your back and your pocket he will pick
His eyes and talons are fukin' deadly equipped
Like a chameleon, I'm the master thief
Usin' a disguise dressed like Penelope Keith

You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two
You gotta smoke a reefer or two

I steal money and hide it in my rectal hole
To takin' belongings in my ultimate goal
I'll take your China and your silver and your soul
By darkness and night I shimmy up the drain-pipe

The maggot, the maggot, that's who I am
Don't ever trust me, always doin' a scam
I punched a woman and stole the baby and a pram
I even sliced my penis up and sold it as ham

Gold chains and watches, maggot's got plenty
He pinched them from ladies and upset the gentry
Like Sherlock Holmes bummin' Watson, it's elementary
He's the modern day menace of the nineteenth century

A gentleman thief, a scholar and a rogue
Doing the locomotion like Kylie Minogue
He's got the strength of ten like a maniac
And I'm also identified as Spring-heeled Jack

Here he comes, watch out, son, he'll rip you off
Here he comes, he's a money grabbin' bastard from Newport

I'm maggot with the GLC big shout to all the Valleys
Free Dick Turpin and the ring stinger
Big up to Dipper Nan Merthyr Connection
Postman Port big shout out to Postman Port

And Mark, runnin' the bar, always sorts it big up Hafodrynys hotel
Big up to Pontllanfraith crew also the west end crew Abercarn
Did a wheelie on a Penny Farthing, big wheel up, big wheel up
All the bus routes, X-15, 53, big respect

Red and white [Incomprehensible] at cross keys
And their rivals Glynn Williams
Respect to you all say, all those that know fake Elvis
On their [Incomprehensible], Maggot signin' out, 2000 plus 3

Every man do his ting a little bit different