The Knicker Elastic King

He used to travel in bath cubes
Until the slump came, faced with redundancy
He turned his mind to other things
And soon became a household name

Knicker Elastic, everybody used it
Knicker Elastic, nobody refused it
The Knicker Elastic King
The Knicker Elastic King

A self-made man with a business to run
And something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King

He grew so rich the Gnomes of Zurich were green with envy
The darling of the stock exchange
Made the New Year's honors list
And won the Queen's Award to Industry

Knicker Elastic, essence of propriety
Knicker Elastic, upholder of society
The Knicker Elastic King
Ooh, la la

His rubber business kept expanding
But then disaster
Ee bah gum

The price of raw materials coupled with inflation
Squeezed his global holdings
His liquid assets bottomed out
And shrunk his retail outlet operation

And that's the story of The Knicker Elastic King
And market forces, The Knicker Elastic King
Horses for courses

A self-made man with a business to run
Something to sell to everyone
The Knicker Elastic King
Ooh, la la
The Knicker Elastic King