The Intergalactic Laxative

I was impressed like everyone
When man began to fly
Out of earthly regions
To planets in the sky

With total media coverage
We watched the heros land
As ceremoniously
They disturbed the cosmic sand

In awe with admiration
We listened to the talk
Such pride felt they, such joy to be
Upon the moon to walk

My romantic vision shattered
When it was explained to me
Spacemen wear old diapers
In which they shit and pee

Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care

If shitting is your problem,
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

They don't partake like you and I
Of beefy burger mush
Their food is specially prepared
To dissolve into slush

Absorbed by multi-fibers
In the super diaper suit
Otherwise the slush would trickle
Down inside the boot

Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care

If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

You may well ask now what becomes
Of liquid they consume
A pipe is led from penis head
To a unit in the room

The water is recirculated
Filtered for reuse
In case of anti-gravity
Pee gets on the loose

Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there
Relieve you and believe me
Without a worry or care

If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars

Wherever man has conquered
On the quest for frontiers new
(Da da da da)
I'm glad that he's always had to do
The number one and two

It makes it all so ordinary
Just like you and me
To know the greatest heroes
They had to shit and pee

The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to there
For cosmic constipation
There's none that can compare

If shitting is your problem
When you're out there in the stars
Oh, the intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative
The intergalactic laxative
Will get you from here to Mars