The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978

The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978
Now in Lubbock Texas the other night
Drinkin' beer and about half-tight
Me and Paul and Jim and guy named Al
We were drawin' pictures and writin' songs
Sittin' there talking and before too long
Paul said we oughta move this party over to Stubb's
The smoke was hangin' low and thick
And the guitar man was a-huntin' licks
And Joe Ely was in the back room shootin' pool
Now we all went back there to check it out
And Joe said well now shut my mouth
I heard the old storyteller knows how to handle a stick
I said I've had chalk on better clothes
And y'all know how that stuff goes
Pretty soon we shootin' pool and just raisin' hell
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978

Joe and me kinda drew a crowd
The place got drunk and the place got loud
And Joe reached over in a sack and pulled out a big ol' onion
He placed that onion on the felt
And said here's where you're gonna need some help
We're gonna use that hamburger helper for a cue ball
Then Joe picked up a big ol' broom
And he waved it all around the room
Said I'm gonna play that onion cue ball with a broomstick
We battled back and forth all night
The tears were streaming from our eyes
And I had that onion for an 8 ball in the corner pocket

Now the place got quiet as a mouse
And we told the guitar man to lay out
And I could barely see that onion for all that grass
But I sipped a beer and fought back tears
And watched that 8 ball disappear
And the whole damn town of Lubbock TX went wild
And amidst the yelling and the cheers
Joe said y'all wait til next year
And that's how I won the Onion Broadway Championship of '78
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of 1978

I wanna thank all the small people that made me what I am today
The Great East Broadway Onion Championship of '78