Waldo jeffers had reached his limit. it was now mid-august which meant that he had been separated from marsha for more than two months. two months, and all he had to show was three let And two very expensive long distance phone calls. school had ended and she'd returned to wisconsin, and he to locust, pennsylvania. she had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity, she would d Ccasionally, but as amusement. she would remain faithfull.
But lately waldo had begun to worry. he had trouble sleeping at night and when he did, he had horrible dreams. he lay awake at night, tossing and turning underneath his quilt protector, Welling in his eyes. as he marsha, her sworn vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of some neanderthal, finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion. it was mo An the human mind bear.
Visions of marsha's faithlessness haunted him. daytime fantasies of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. and the was they wouldn't really understand how she really was. he, waldo, alone, Rstood this. he had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche. he had made her smile, and she him, and he wasn't there. (ahhh....)
The idea came to him on the thursday before the mummers' parade was scheduled to appear. he had just finished mowing and etching the edelsons lawn for a dollar fifty and had the mailbox E if there was at least a word from marsha. there was nothing more than a circular from the amalgamated aluminum company of america inquiring into his zoning needs. at least they cared to E. it was a new york company. you could go in the mail.
Then it struck him, he didn't have enough money to go to wisconsin in the accepted fashion, true, but why not mail himself? it was absurdly simple. he would himself parcel post special deli The next day waldo went to the supermarket to purchase the necessary equipment. he masking tape, a staple gun and a medium sized box, just right for a person of his built. he judged that A minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. a few airholes, some water, of course, midnight snacks and it probably be as good as going tourist.
By friday afternoon, waldo was set. he was packed and the post office had agreed to pick him up at three o'clock. he'd marked the package "fragile", and as he sat up inside, res The foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, he tried to picture the look of awe and happiness on face as she opened the door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, and then o It to see her waldo finally there in person. she would kiss him, then, maybe they could see a movie. if only thought of this before. suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt hi Barne up. he landed with a thud in a and then he was off.
Marsha bronson had just setting her hair. it had been a very rough weekend. she had to remember not to drink like that. bill had been nice about it though. after it was over he'd said t E still respected her and, after all, it was certainly the way of nature, and even though, no he didn't love her, he did an affection for her. and, after all, they were grown adults. oh, wh Lly could teach waldo - but that like years ago.
Sheila klein, her very, very best friend walked in through the porch screen and into the kitchen.
"oh god, it's maudlin outside."
"i know what you mean, I feel all icky!" marsha tightened her cotton robe with the silk outer edge. sheila ran her finger over some salt on the kitchen table, licked her fingers a face.
"i'm supposed to take these salt pills," but she wrinkled her nose, "they me feel like throwing up." marsha started to pat herself under the chin, an exercise she'd seen Elevision. "god, even talk about that." she got up from the table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins. "want one? supposed to be bett An steak." and attempted to her knees.
"i don't think I'll ever touch a again." she gave up and sat down, this time nearer the table that supported the telephone. "maybe bill will call." she said to sheil Lance. sheila on a cuticle.
"after last night, I thought maybe you'd be with him."
"i what you mean, my god, he was like an octopus. hands all over the place." she gestured, raising her arms upwards in defense. "the thing is after a while, you get tired of Ing with him, you know, and after all he didn't really do anything friday and saturday so I kind of owed it to him, you know what I mean." she to scratch.
Sheila was giggling with her hand over her mouth. "i'll tell you, I feel the same way, and after a while," here she bend forward in a whisper, wanted to," and now she was lau loudly.
It was at this point that mr. jameison of the clarence darrow post office rang the door bell of the large colored stucco frame house. when marsha bronson opened the door, he helped her the Age in. he had his yellow and green slips of paper signed and left with a fifteen cent tip that had gotten out of her mothers small beige pocketbook in the den.
"what do you think it is? " asked.
Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. she stared at the brown carton that sat in the middle of the living room: "i don't know."
the package waldo quivered with excitement as he listened to the muffled voices. sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down the center of the carton. "why don't yo K at the address and see who it is from? "
Waldo felt his heart beating. he feel the vibrating footsteps. it would be soon.
Marsha walked around the carton and the ink-scratched label. "god, it's from waldo."
"that schmuck!" sheila.
Waldo with expectation.
"you might as well open it," sheila. both of them tried to flip the stable flap.
"ah," said marsha groaning. "he must have nailed it shut." they at the flap again. "my god, you need a power drill to get this thing opened." they pulled aga Quot;you can't get a grip!" they both stood still, breathing heavily. "why don't you get the scissors," said sheila. marsha ran the kitchen, but all she could find was a litt Wing scissors. she remembered that her father kept a collection of tools in the basement. she ran downstairs and when she came back, she had a large metal cutter in her hand. "this is Est I could find." she was out of breath. "here, you do it. I'm die." she sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled noisily. sheila tried to make a slit between the masking And the end of the cardboard, but the blade was too big and there was not enough room. "g-damn this thing!" she said feeling exaspe- rated. then, smiling "i got an idea.&quo Uot;what? " said marsha. "just watch," sheila touching her finger to her head.
Inside the package, waldo was transfixed with excitement that he could hardly breathe. his skin prickly from the heat and he could feel his heart beating in his throat. it would be soon.
Sheila stood quite upright and walked around to the other side of the package. she sank down to her knees, grasped the cutter by both hands, took a deep breath and plunged the long blade th The middle of the package, through the middle of the masking tape, through the card-board through the cushioning and right through the center of waldo jeffers head, split slightly and cau rhythmic arcs of red to pulsate gently in the morning sun.