Waldo jeffers had reached his limit. it was now mid-august which meant that he had been separated from marsha for more than two months. two months, and all he had to show was dog-eared let And two very expensive long distance phone calls. when school had ended and returned to wisconsin, and he to locust, pennsylvania. she had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity, she would d Ccasionally, but as amusement. she would remain faithfull.
But lately waldo had begun to worry. he had trouble sleeping at night and when he did, he had horrible dreams. he lay awake at night, tossing and turning his pleated quilt protector, Welling in his eyes. as he pictured marsha, her vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of some neanderthal, finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion. it was mo An the human mind bear.
Visions of marsha's faithlessness haunted him. daytime of sexual abandon permeated his thoughts. and the thing was they wouldn't really understand how she really was. he, waldo, alone, Rstood this. he had intuitively grasped every nook and cranny of her psyche. he had her smile, and she needed him, and he wasn't there. (ahhh....)
The idea came to him on the thursday before the mummers' was scheduled to appear. he had just finished mowing and etching the edelsons lawn for a dollar fifty and had checked the mailbox E if there was at least a word marsha. there was nothing more than a circular from the amalgamated aluminum company of america inquiring into his zoning needs. at least they cared enough to E. it was a new york company. you could go in the mail.
Then it struck him, he didn't have enough money to go to wisconsin in the accepted fashion, true, but why not mail himself? it was absurdly simple. he would ship himself post special deli The next day waldo went to the supermarket to purchase the necessary equipment. he bought masking tape, a staple gun and a medium sized box, right for a person of his built. he judged that A minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. a few airholes, some water, of course, midnight and it would probably be as good as going tourist.
By friday afternoon, waldo was set. he was packed and the post office had agreed to pick him up at o'clock. he'd marked the package "fragile", and as he sat curled up inside, res The foam rubber cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, he tried to picture the look of awe and happiness on marshas face as she opened the door, saw the package, tipped the deliverer, and o It to see her waldo finally there in person. she would kiss him, then, maybe they could see a movie. if he'd only thought of before. suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt hi up. he landed with a thud in a truck and then he was off.
Marsha bronson had just finished setting her hair. it had been a very rough weekend. she had to not to drink like that. bill had been nice about it though. after it was over he'd said t E still respected her and, after all, it was certainly the way of nature, and even though, no he love her, he did feel an affection for her. and, after all, they were grown adults. oh, wh Lly teach waldo - but that seemed like years ago.
Sheila klein, her very, very best friend walked in through the screen door and into the kitchen.
"oh god, absolutely maudlin outside."
"i know what you mean, I feel all icky!" marsha tightened her cotton robe with the silk outer edge. sheila ran her finger over some grains on the kitchen table, licked her fingers a face.
"i'm supposed to take these salt pills," but she wrinkled her nose, "they make me feel like throwing up." marsha started to pat herself the chin, an exercise she'd seen Elevision. "god, don't even talk that." she got up from the table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue vitamins. "want one? supposed to be bett An steak." and attempted to her knees.
"i don't think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again." she up and sat down, this time nearer the table that supported the telephone. "maybe bill will call." she said to sheil Lance. nibbled on a cuticle.
"after last night, I thought you'd be through with him."
"i know what you mean, my god, he was like an octopus. hands all over the place." she gestured, raising her arms upwards in defense. "the thing is after a while, you get of Ing with him, you know, and after all he didn't really do anything friday and saturday so I kind of owed it to him, you know I mean." she started to scratch.
Sheila was giggling with her over her mouth. "i'll tell you, I feel the same way, and even after a while," here she bend forward in a whisper, wanted to," and now she was lau loudly.
It was at this point that mr. jameison of the clarence darrow post office rang the door bell of the large colored stucco frame house. when marsha bronson opened the door, he helped her the Age in. he had his yellow and green slips of paper and left with a fifteen cent tip that marsha had gotten out of her mothers small beige pocketbook in the den.
"what do you it is? " sheila asked.
Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back. she stared at the brown carton that sat in the middle of the living room: "i don't know."
Inside the package waldo quivered excitement as he listened to the muffled voices. sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down the center of the carton. "why don't yo K at the return and see who it is from? "
Waldo felt his heart beating. he could the vibrating footsteps. it would be soon.
Marsha walked the carton and read the ink-scratched label. "god, it's from waldo."
"that schmuck!" sheila.
Waldo with expectation.
"you might as well open it," said sheila. of them tried to flip the stable flap.
"ah," marsha groaning. "he must have nailed it shut." they tagged at the flap again. "my god, you need a power drill to get this thing opened." they pulled aga Quot;you can't get a grip!" they both still, breathing heavily. "why don't you get the scissors," said sheila. marsha ran into the kitchen, but all she could find was a litt Wing scissors. then she remembered that her father a collection of tools in the basement. she ran downstairs and when she came back, she had a large metal cutter in her hand. "this is Est I find." she was out of breath. "here, you do it. I'm gonna die." she sank into a large fluffy couch and exhaled noisily. sheila tried to make a slit between the masking And the end of the cardboard, but the blade was too big and there was not enough room. "g-damn this thing!" she said feeling very exaspe- rated. then, "i got an idea.&quo Uot;what? " marsha. "just watch," said sheila touching her finger to her head.
Inside the package, waldo was transfixed with excitement that he could hardly breathe. his skin felt prickly from the heat and he could his heart beating in his throat. it would be soon.
Sheila stood quite upright and walked around to the other side of the package. then she sank down to her knees, grasped the cutter by both hands, a deep breath and plunged the long blade th The middle of the package, through the of the masking tape, through the card-board through the cushioning and right through the center of waldo jeffers head, which split slightly and cau Ittle rhythmic arcs of red to gently in the morning sun.