The Bottom Line

PULITZER
Gentlemen, we need to sell more papers. There's an answer right before your eyes, but you're just not thinking this through.
Nunzio knows, when
He's cutting my hair,
Trim a bit here and then
Trim a bit there.
Just a modest adjustment
Can fatten the bottom line.
BUNSEN
What if we cut back personnel?
SEITZ
How about a few salary trims?
BUNSEN
We could lower the price of the paper.
PULITZER
Bankrupting me even faster! Let me try again
Shaving is tricky: The razor
Should float
Shave me too close and you
May slit my throat.
Its the simplest solutions
That bolster the bottom line
BUNSEN
Ive got it! If we charge the Newsies sixty cents per hundred instead of fifty
SEITZ
Theyd have to sell ten more papers just to earn the same amount as always.
PULITZER
My thought exactly. Its genius.
HANNAH
Its gonna be awfully rough on those children.
PULITZER
Theyll be learning a real life lesson in economics. I couldnt offer them a better education if they were my own.
Give me a week and
Ill train them to be
Like an army thats
Marching to war.
Proud of themselves and so
Grateful to me,
Theyll be begging to pay even more!
When theres dirt
On our shoes, boys,
For Gods sake, relax!
Why throw them out?
All we need is some wax
Listen well to these barbershop lessons,
For theyll see you through.
EMPLOYEES
When youre stuck in the muck youll be fine.
Youll erase any trace of decline.
SEITZ
With a trim
HANNAH
And a snip
BUNSEN
And a shine!
PULITZER
And the powr of the press,
Yes! Once again is mine!
The price for the Newsies goes up in the morning!
Just a few common cents,
Gents, thats the bottom line!
EMPLOYEES
Every new outcome
Its income for you,
Thanks to that bottom line!