The Ambitions Are

Wake up breathe keep breathing

You don't trade money here
You trade information
And skin
Right now there are thousands of forgotten people
Trying to remember you

Children are killed because they write an enemy's name backwards on the wall
Young girls tie ribbons around their slender throats trying to keep their heads on
Chocolate boy walks to ice cream truck for vanilla cone is shot dead three times
This city kills its young

The angels all have guns now
The angels aren't anyone you'd want to pray to
No-one here has goals like:
Get a job, get married, have kids
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing

No desire to get rich
Become famous
Move out
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe
Keep breathing

Every woman who walks by is every woman you'll never have
Beautiful, quick and poisonous as mercury
The city is full of women slim and busy
Hoping there is room in some man's life
For them

Women sort through the dead bodies like bags of laundry with exhausted mama eye
Sigh because they are too dry for tears
People huddle in kitchens, clasp their hands, celebrating
Something has tried to kill them and failed
Nightclub men twitch too subdued to recognize apocalypse
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing

You've driven these streets a thousand times and all they offer is their exhaustion
Your nightmares have your name now
You exit the glitter storm, go home alone and embrace the violence instead

The city has claimed all your blood and memory this is cool and unusual punishment
You go for years without touching another
Never think of the 'why?'
You are so casual about brutality
Doctor says: take this, it'll settle you down
Doctor says: take this, it'll settle your system
Doctor says: take this, it'll we'll settle the bill
Doctor says: take this, it'll settle the score

The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing

There's a voice on the loudspeaker and she speaks your language
Doesn't need to stay
It can disappear when the wife walks in
Here comes the interrogation room scene
Today is the day you're gonna get caught

You're terrified of what you crave
Don't get delighted
They want you scared

The sweet things don't stick around but the bullshit lasts forever
Please press pound
You're dual-channeling for new friends or just new things to envy
Who's running the machine you run on?

Wish you had someone to speak code with
Wish you had someone to steal things for
Wish you had someone to fuck you so you could finally go to sleep
You just want to die
A little bit

Ink and paint is making you faint in your pale pale shirt stolen from uptown stores
Watch the girls in the twin sweater sets smoke, cough, throw up
Teeth-scraped knuckles are a tell-tale sign

Get in the car
Get in the car
Get in the car and what you hear is a sound of impact
Turn around slowly and check your body for bruises
There is no-one here to take care of you

Open-mouthed, waiting for a candy kiss and all you get is rain communion
Between lap dances and laptops you see girls who fuck like they're boneless
You're thirty eight and your job is telling fourteen year old boys what to think is cool
Are you laughing?
They are

And this one is a fire
And that one is a flame
And this one is a spark
And that one is a match you put out in your mouth when no-one was looking

And in your dreams your grandparents live forever
And you throw your love into the air like glitter swallowing stars, spitting up stardust

The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing

Mothers wring their hands and say: I'm so at a loss
Best friend says: I've come not to praise you, but to destroy with my bare fucking hands
Girl on the television says: you all work for me now
Boss says: come here, let me hit you just once
Man on the street says: I can make any woman kill herself in a year

So you drive your dead body home at night
And when you sleep the angels kisses are mercury
Mercury

Breaking love into lust
Grinding pearls into dust
Breaking love into lust
Grinding pearls into dust
Breaking love into lust
Grinding pearls into dust

The ambitions are
Wake up breathe keep breathing
The ambitions are
Wake up breathe
Keep breathing