Table For One

I'm walking down in the basement
I'm leaning on the washing machine
I'm reaching back through a hole in the wall's insulation

I'm pulling out a bottle of vodka
Replacing that with a pint of Jim Bean
I'm lying down on the floor until I feel better

It's morning and I pour myself coffee
I drink it 'til the kitchen stops shaking
I'm backing out of the driveway and into creation

And the loving spirit that follows me
Watching helplessly, will always forgive me

Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me
I wanna bring down all those demons who drank with me
Feasting bleed through me, on my desperation

I hide all the bottles in places
They find and confront me with pain in their eyes
And I promise that I'll make some changes

But reaching back it occurs to me
There will always be some kind of crisis for me

Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me
I wanna bring back all those moments they stole from me
In my reverie, darkening days end

Oh, I wanna die alone with my memories inside me
I wanna live that life when I could say people had faith in me
I still see that guy in my memory

Oh, I wanna die alone with my sympathy beside me
I wanna bring down all those people who drank with me
Watching happily, my humiliation