In a North London, top floor All white walls, carpet, white cat, Paper partitions Modern art and The a physician, Bright bloke, has his own His an actress An old mate of from home And they're great fun So to we've come.
The guest is an unknown, The hosts have thrown Us together for a because this girls arrived from Australia And she'ss moved to London And she's the sister of Or has connection.
As we introductions I'm struck by her irrefutably fair With dark and dark hair But as she I admit I'm a bit wary because I the tip of the wing of a fairy Tattooed on that popular Just the derrire And when she says Im I confess a pigeonhole starts to And is immediately filled pigeon When she says her is Storm.
Conversation is initially bright and But it's not long Storm gets started: You know anything, Knowledge is opinion She opines, her Cabernet Sauvignon Vis--vis, Some Empirical made by me
Not a good I think We're only on pre-dinner And the room, my wife her eyes Silently me, Be Nice A matrimonial Not ignoring So I resist the urge to ask Whether is so loose-weave Of a When deciding to leave Her by the front door Or a on the second floor.
The is delicious and Storm, avoiding all meat, Happily and eats As the good doctor, pissedly court on some anachronistic aspect of medical history When suddenly insists But the human is a mystery! Science just falls in a When it to explain the the nature of the soul.
My hostess me a glance She, my wife, knows there's a chance I'll be off on one of my rare but fun rants But I , my lips are sealed. I just want to my meal And although Storm is to get my goat I have no intention of the boat, Although becoming a bit of a wrestle Because -- her meteorological namesake - Storm has no such for our vessel:
Pharmaceutical companies are the They promote drug At the cost of the remedies That are all our bodies They are and driven by greed. Why drugs herbs can solve it? Why use homeopathic solvents Can it? I it's time we all return-to-live With medical alternatives.
And try as I like, A small appears In my diplomacy-dike. By definition, I Medicine, I continue, Has either not been to work, Or been not to work. Do you know what they call medicine Thats been to work? Medicine.
So you believe In ANY Natural
On the contrary, Storm, Before I to tea, I took a remedy Derived the bark of a willow tree A painkiller virtually side-effect free. Its got a name, Darling, what was it Aspirin! Which I paid about a for at the local drugstore.
The briefly abates As my hosts collects but when they return with Storm asserts,
Shakespeare said it ''There are more in heaven and earth Than in your philosophy'' is just how were trained to look at reality, It explain love or spirituality. How does science psychics? Auras; the afterlife; the of prayer?
I'm aware I'm staring, I'm like a rabbit suddenly In the headlights of vacuous crap. it's the Hamlet she just mis-quothed Or the fifh glass of I just quaffed But my diplomacy dike And the arsehole held back by its Can be held no more:
Look , Storm, I don't to bore you But there's no thing as an aura! Reading is like reading minds Or or star-signs or meridian lines people aren't plying a skill, They are lying or mentally ill. Same goes for peoplewho claim to hear demands Or Spiritual healers who they've got magic hands.
By the way, Why is it OK For people to pretend they can to the dead? Isn't totally fucked in the head Lying to some woman whose child has died And telling her you're in with the other side? I that's fundamentally sick Do we need to clarify that there's no such as a psychic? What, are we 2? Do we actually that Horton Heard a Who? Do we think that Santa brings us gifts? That Jackson didn't have facelifts? Are we still so stunned by tricks That we think the dead would talk to pricks Like Edward?
Storm to her credit despite my Keeps firing off clichés with startling Like a using bollocks for ammunition
You're so of your position But you're closed-minded I think find Your in Science and Tests Is as blind As the of any fundamentalist.
"Wow, a good point, let me think for a bit" Oh wait, my mistake, its bullshit. Science adjusts it's views based on observed Faith is the of observation so that Belief can be preserved. If you me That, say, works, Then I will my mind I will on a fucking dime be embarrassed as hell, But I run through the streets yelling Its a miracle! Take and bin it! has memory! And while it's memory of a lost drop of onion juice is Infinite It somehow all the poo its had in it!
You show me it works and how it works And I've recovered from the shock I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy on the side of my cock.
Everyone's just now, But I'm pissed and Ive dug this far down, So I figure, in for penny, in for a
Life is of mysteries, yeah, But there are answers out And won't be found By sitting around serious And saying isn't mysterious? sit here and hope Let's call up the Pope Let's go Oprah Deepak Chopra
If wanna watch tele, you watch Scooby Doo. That show was so because every time there was a church a ghoul Or a ghost in a They looked beneath the mask and was inside? The janitor or the dude who ran the water-slide. Because history mystery EVER has turned out to be Not Magic.
Does the that there might be knowledge you? Does the idea one afternoon On might enlighten you Frighten Does the that there may not be a supernatural So your hippy noodle That you'd rather stand in the fog Of your to Google?
this enough? Just this this beautiful, complex Wonderfully unfathomable, world? How does it so fail to hold our That we have to diminish it the invention Of cheap, Myths and Monsters? If you're so Shakespeare me your ear:
''To gild gold, to the lily, To throw perfume on the is fucking silly'' Or something that. Or about Satchmo?! I see of Green, Red too, And fine, if you to Krishna and Vishnu In a post-colonial, Bottled-up and labelled of way Then whatever, okay. But what gives me a hard-on: I am a tiny, insignificant, bit of carbon. I one life, and it is short and unimportant But thanks to recent scientific I get to live twice as as my great great great great uncles-es and aunts-es. Twice as long to live this of mine Twice as long to love this of mine Twice as many of friends and wine Of curries and getting shitty At hippies fairies on their spines And on their titties.
And if perchance I offended Think but and all is mended: Wed as well be 10 back in time, For all the chance you'll your mind.