Sputter

Is there another life for me?
Another trail to blaze in parallel time?
Leading to riches, social status, a stable income maybe?
Maybe I could have found a way to make my father proud.
Another life, I could have chosen.
But not this time.

"And the days are not full enough"
To lift me up before they come
Each day arriving as it leaves
I mean to clean but never leave

And I know that there's a time and place for conversations like this.
But as I grip the steering wheel I feel my mind slip
Into another place, into another time
Familiar faces mouthing phrases
Waving goodbye

"And the nights are not full enough"
To drag the pen to call your bluff
I'd ask the moon to drink the stars
And hang itself back up in my yard.

I don't think I could take another day of it.
Do I look as sick as I feel?
I know I won't fix the unrepairable.
I won't be held responsible for the gaps you've refused to fill.
I don't think I could take another day of it.
My heart's so heavy now.