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Here they down main street
a flailin' and the sirens a wailin', what a roar!
Bands are a playin' and are a wavin'
And the Vanguards and Motorcycle

are a clownin' to the crowd
And every pretty girl who dares to smile
It's a glorious mess, everybody a fez
The parade out for a mile

a typical American phenomenon
Where all the members have a old time
It's the Annual Convention
Of the Mystic Royal Order
Of the of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine

Meanwhile, at the motel

"Operator, me room 321, please
Hello, Noble
This is the illustrious Potentate
I said it's the Potentate
The illustrious, Coy!"

"Dad it! This here's Bubba!
Coy, why are'nt you at the
What? Well, you get that big Harley
Up there in room?"

"What? I can't ya' Coy!
Quit it up, boy! Turn it off!
Listen, I just you to know one thing
You embarrassed us all, the whole Hahira delegation! "

"Now I'll see you at the tonight, son
And you be Coy, you hear me?
tie! Seven o'clock! Be there Coy!
And Coy, answer the phone, 'udden udden!"

Well, it was all arranged by the Auxiliary
In the downtown Convention
roast beef, string beans, mashed potatoes
And boring speeches in all

And all the tables looked fine with their Mogen wine
And Chrysanthemums on side
And the Hahira leaders in their tuxedos
Made the local swell with pride

It's a typical American
all the members have a fine old time
It's the Forty-Third Convention
Of the Grand Royal Order
Of the of the Ali Baba Temple of the Shrine

Meanwhile, back at the

"Operator, 321, Thank You!
Hello, Coy? What are you
What do you mean, who is
This is Why wasn't you at the banquet?"

"What do you all you had to wear
Was a Hawaiian flowerdy
Well, you may think foolin' some people
But I what's goin' on"

"Yeah, everybody the little redhead
right, everybody!
Why she come through the dinner
in the middle of the pineapple sherbet"

"Didn't nothin' on but your fez, Coy!
Coy, you the only one who's got a fez a propeller on top!
Yeah, and she was a yellin' out the secret code too, Coy
We gonna have to change it now, Coy! Dad, it, Coy!"

"We gonna have to have a special meetin', we get to Hahira
About your conduct at this convention! Embarrassin'!
Now Coy, you be at the conclave tonight, you hear me?
And Coy, it a secret! Huh!"

Well, it was a secret in the dead of the night
With sanctimony
In accordance prescribed
Rituals of honored ceremony

Matters of concern
Were weighed with dedicated
Like whether or not to raise at
Or or spit in the ocean

It's a typical American
Where all the have a fine old time
It's the Forty-Third Convention
Of the Grand Mystic Order
Of the Nobles of the Ali Temple of the Shrine

Meanwhile, at the motel

"Operator, 320
How, How'd you
Oh! Hello Coy! Where you been?
No, you at the meeting!"

"Well, I found out at three o'clock this mornin'
You was out there, in your fruit of the
In the swimmin' pool with a bunch
Of them waitresses from the Lounge!"

"I just hope don't find out about this, Coy!
What? Well, you get that big motorcycle
Up on the high dive, Coy?
Now Coy, Dad blame it, ain't no way to act"

"We to be pillars of the community
we get back to Hahira, you can just turn in your ring
And tie tack 'cause Coy, hehe, you are out of the shrine!
You be blackballed, Coy! That's right!"

"You may have to pack your bags and town!
What do you mean, you join the Hell's Angels?
Coy! you hang up on me!
Don't you that motorcycle!"

"Who's that in the background, Coy?
Hello, hello operator! Yeah, cut off! Room 321
Coy! Don't you up on the illustrious Potentate!
I the illustrious Potentate!
is Bubba! Bubba! Coy! Coy!"

Videos

Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Music Video) [from Get Serious]
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Music Video) [from Get Serious]
Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention (Original)
Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention (Original)
Shriner's Convention (Ray Stevens) w/ lyrics
Shriner's Convention (Ray Stevens) w/ lyrics
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (with opening, Live in Branson, MO)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (with opening, Live in Branson, MO)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Official Audio)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Official Audio)
Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention (Knights Of Columbus Version)
Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention (Knights Of Columbus Version)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Live on CabaRay Nashville)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Live on CabaRay Nashville)
Shriner's Convention
Shriner's Convention
30th Anniversary digital remaster of Ray Stevens  "Shriner's Convention."
30th Anniversary digital remaster of Ray Stevens "Shriner's Convention."
Ray Stevens - The Shriners Convention
Ray Stevens - The Shriners Convention
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Live at Casino Rama, 2015)
Ray Stevens - "Shriner's Convention" (Live at Casino Rama, 2015)
Ray Stevens - Shriners Convention (Live)
Ray Stevens - Shriners Convention (Live)
Shriner's Convention (Live)
Shriner's Convention (Live)
Ray Stevens - "The Mississippi Squirrel Revival" (Music Video)
Ray Stevens - "The Mississippi Squirrel Revival" (Music Video)
Ray Stevens Live in Branson 1992
Ray Stevens Live in Branson 1992
First Time Reaction to Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention
First Time Reaction to Ray Stevens - Shriner's Convention
Ray Stevens - "The Cannonball Run Opening"
Ray Stevens - "The Cannonball Run Opening"
Ray Stevens - Shriners convention +  backstory on how Shriners loved the song
Ray Stevens - Shriners convention + backstory on how Shriners loved the song
Ray Stevens - Grandpa Voted Democrat
Ray Stevens - Grandpa Voted Democrat
The Best Of Ray Stevens
The Best Of Ray Stevens