Shores Of California

Hes been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her dress
But every time he thinks hes getting close
She threatens death before he gets a chance

And thats the way is in Minnesota
Thats the way is in Oklahoma
Thats the way its been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California

And shes been trying with limited success
To get him to turn out the lights and dance
'Cause like any girl all she really wants
Is that fickle little bitch romance, that fickle little bitch romance

And that is why the girl is called a tease
And that is why the guy is called a sleaze
And thats why God made escort agencies
One life to live and mace and GHB

And thats the way it is in Minnesota
Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa
Thats the way since the animals and Noah
First climbed onto shores of California

Must not be too kind
Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists, yeah, right
She's just not my type

Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation
All I know, is that all around the nation
The girls are cryin and the boys are masturbatin
The girls are cryin and the boys are masturbatin

And thats the way it is in Minnesota
Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa
The way since Aristophanes and homer
Wrote the Iliad and Lysistrata

Thats the way it is in Minnesota
Thats the way it is in Oklahoma, homa
Thats the way since the ancient protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of California