Screech In

NEWFOUNDLANDER: Now there's a
solemn old tradition for admission or
audition to transition from a Come From
Away.

To be a Newfoundlander!

NEWFOUNDLANDER: The only other way
to any rate is pass away and pray to fate
and wait to reincarnate as a Newfoundlander.

Hey, hey come on inside, nothing ventured
nothing tried!

WOMAN: Only a couple of people cried.

You'll be a Newfoundlander. Hey, hey sit down
right here you'll feel better in a year.

NEWFOUNDLANDER: Try to ignore your
doubts and fears...

and you'll be a Newfoundlander.

(Spoken)
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Now we needs a
couple of volunteers. Who wants to become a Newfoundlander?
MAN: Right Here!
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Good man! Who else?
KEVIN: I have no idea why I put up my hand
and Kevin's like,
KEVIN: Oh my god. Are you serious?
Oh my god you are serious!
KEVIN: Yes I'm serious. Don't do it if you
don't want to.
KEVIN: I won't.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Where you from buddy?
KEVIN: Los Angelas.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: LA! Who else?
WOMAN: Us!
DIANE: We want to be Newfoundlanders!
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Alright. We're you
folks from.
DIANE: Texas.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Texas! What part of
Texas are you from buddy?
NICK: No, no I not from--
DIANE: I'm from Texas, he's from England.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Wait, now how does
that work?
NICK: How does what work?
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Well, how does your
marriage work with you being in England,
her in Texas?
DIANE: We're not married.
NICK: Not married.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Oh, i'm sorry.
I assumed you were married. Well would
you like to be?
DIANE: Well why not!
NICK: Diane had had 2 beers by then so
it was probably the alcohol talking.
DIANE: I've never had more than 1 beer at a
time before so it's probably the alcohol talking.
NICK: I went and got her 2 more beers.

(Sung)
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Now the first part
is the easiest we'll soon get to the queasiest.
I'll need you to repeat this mess.

When you become a Newfoundlander!

NEWFOUNDLANDER: Cause we speaks
a different language son. We have some
messes and some rum. You'll have to try a good cod tongue

When you become a Newfoundlander!
Hey, hey just do your best, nothings
scary, nothing yet.

WOMAN: You'll have to change the way
your dressed.

And you'll be a Newfoundlander! Hey, hey
just sing along nothing venture just prolong.

NEWFOUNDLANDER: There's 30 verses in
this song!

And you'll be a Newfoundlander.

(Spoken)
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Ladies and Gentlemen
this is screech! Back in WW2 an officer was
stationed here and offered some of this stuff.
All the locals were tossing 'em back without
a quiver so he does too and lets out an ear
piercing *howls*. Everybody comes to see
what's happening says,

"What was that ungodly screech?"

and now it's your turn. Are you ready?
Good. All together now! One (one), two
(two) three (three), down the hatch!

KEVIN: Screech is basically bad Jamaican Rum.
MAN: Screech is horrific!
WOMAN: Screech is delicious!
MAN: And then they brought the cod!
KEVIN: The cod!
NICK: The cod!
DIANE: The cod!

(Sung)
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Now with every
transformation comes a tiny bit of risk.
You've got to walk the plank and there'll
be blood or there'll be bliss. And it's a shame
to be a Newfoundlander, every person's
weird so don't be dumb, just take the plunge,
go on kiss the fish.
(Spoken)
Ladies and Gentlemen this is a freshly
caught Newfoundland cod, and if you want to
become an honorary Newfoundlander,
you'll have to give her a smooch. ONE!

KEVIN: If you kiss that I am never kissing
you again!
KEVIN: I'll risk it!
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Two!
NICK: I'm not kissing a fish.
DIANE: Come on. I will if you will.
NICK: Oh my god. Fine.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Three!
DIANE: I can't do it.
NICK: What? I just did.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Now you've got
to kiss the cod! It's a vital part of the ceremony.
DIANE: I can't do it.
NEWFOUNDLANDER: Alright. Look
I'll make you a deal. Either you kiss this fish,
or else you kiss this English man you're
not married to.

Hey, hey, come out tonight take a risk,
and take a ride! Jump right in, we can
both be tired, and you'll be a Newfoundlander!
Hey, hey come on lets spore, nothing
ventured nothing sore. After it's over,
out the door, and you'll be a Newfoundlander!
After it's over, you'll remember, and you're a Newfoundlander!