Scolding Wife

Well, I came into a scolding wife a few short years ago
And ever since I lead a life of misery and woe
My wife she is a tyrant around the room and in
Ah, she'd sell me to the devil for a galss or two of gin

Sure I'll get up and go to work as mild as any man
And she'll get up and dress herself and go and have her dram
And if I chance to say a word, it's well I know my doom
She'll follow me with the fire shovel up and down the room

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again

When I get home at breakfast time she'll tap me on the head
When I come home at dinner time I'll find her drunk in bed
When I come home at supper time my patients I must stop
'Cause she drank what's in the teapot and I must drink the slops

Well, once I asked me scolding wife if I could go to bed
She scarce gave me an hour on the pillow to lay me head
When like a roarin' lion she came bustin' down the door
She caught me by the middle and threw me naked on the floor

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again

Now, me and my companions go to a public place
She'll search around the neighborhood until she finds my face
She'll hoist me up and ridicule me for the company
Saying, "petticoat is you master, and forevermore shall be."

And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
I swear to God I'll hang me self If I get married again
And if the devil'd take her I'd thank him for his pain
Oh, I swear to God I'll hang me self if I get married again