Ring Them Bells

About a year ago, I heard this truly terrific, absolutely true story
And it just so happens that I told a couple of friends of mine
This truly terrific, absolutely true story
And it just so happened that these friends of mine are song writers
And guess what happened? Right, truly terrific, absolutely true song

Gather around, I've got a story to tell
About a Manhattan lady that I know very well
She lives at five Riverside, her name is Shirley Devore
And she traveled 'round the world to meet the guy next door

Well, there was trouble inside apartment 29 E
'Cause Shirley's mother and dad were as upset as can be
They said we hate to complain dear and we don't like to grouse
But you're nearly 32, you should get out of the house

You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting a ling
You gotta ring them bells

Well, Shirley was 31, which she was loathe to admit
And she had never been loved, which didn't thrill her a bit
And so she sat and she thought, she thought for hours on end
And said I'll go to Chase, Manhattan where I got me a friend

And so she borrowed a thou' and called TWA
And told her mother and dad that she was up and away
I'm gonna travel the continent, a month, maybe, two
And haul me home a hus' if it's the last thing I do

You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting a ling
You gotta ring them bells

She met a Londoner first but they did not hit it off
'Cause every time she approached he got a bronchial cough
And so she went to Madrid and met a handsome Senior
But he liked to throw the bull and he was no matador

She also bombed out in Brussells, in Mallorca and Rome
Til' someone said, "Try Dubrovnik, dear before you go home"
'Cause it's the kind of a town where you'll be likely to fall
And all the toni cognoscenti find the Balkans a ball

You gotta ring them bells, you gotta ring them bells
You gotta make 'em sing and really ring them bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting a ling
You gotta ring them bells

And so she went to Dubrovnik and the very first day
She met a guy on the beach who took her reason away
Yes, it was love at first sight and quite a beautiful scene
She said, "My name is Shirl Devore", he said, "I'm Norm Saperstein"

She said, "Are you from New York", he said, "That can't be denied
I've got a swell junior three at number five, Riverside"
"Five? Five Riverside Drive in New York, that's where you live?"
"That's, that's where I live, Five? Are you sure?"
As if that wasn't enough for Shirley thought she'd gone deaf
When he told her his apartment there was 29 F

Yes, she was 'E', he was 'F' and they had not even met
Until she traveled the world to Yugoslavia yet
He'd always been right next door and she would never have known
If she hadn't tried Dubrovnik, she might still be alone

Well, there's a moral to learn from little Shirley Devore
Who had to borrow a thou' to find a lover next door
You girls who live in apartments, don't just stare at the wall
Open up the door and hurry out in the hall

And, oh ring them bells, come on, come on, ring them bells
Make 'em sing, you'd better ring the bells
It's such a happy thing to hear 'em ting a ling
You gotta swing them, ring them, swing them, ring them bells