Rah-rah, Tip-top

LORDS
(spoken)
Your Majesty!

BINGHAM
(spoken)
Your Majesty!

ELIZABETH
(spoken)
Lord Bingham. Lords. What news of our Empire?

LORDS #1 AND #2
Everything sails, your Highness,
Troubles in France are dead

LORDS #3 AND #4
Nothing in Wales, your Highness,
To bother the royal head

LORDS #5 AND #6
Taxes increase, your Highness;
Even when gained by force

BINGHAM
Ev'rywhere peace, your Highness;
Ireland aside, of course...

ELIZABETH
(spoken)
Ireland?

BINGHAM
(spoken)
Hardly worth mentioning.

ELIZABETH
(spoken)
No. No please, Lord Bingham, mention it...

BINGHAM
Well...
Only last week, your Highness
One of our ships attacked
Caught in a sneak, your Highness,
Boarded at dawn and sacked
Leave it to us, your Highness,
We'll locate the Irish ship
What's to discuss, your Highness;
Everything's...pip!

LORDS AND BINGHAM
Rah-rah, tip-top
Ev'rything's right as rain
Rah-rah, tip-top
Here in the Queen's domain
Sea to sea to sea
The English crown is holding sway

BINGHAM
Don't allow the Irish bog
To taint the royal day

LORDS AND BINGHAM
As it has been!
So shall it be!
God save the Queen!
England eternally

Rah-rah, tip-top
Perfectly in the pink!

ELIZABETH
(spoken)
The captain of this ship you cannot locate - what is his name?

BINGHAM
What's his name? I blush to testify
And oh, you're bound to laugh when you hear why
For, your Highness, it turns out, you see
That he ... is a she

ELIZABETH
(spoken)
What? A female captain?!

BINGHAM
Grace O'Malley is her name,
She strikes at night -
Countless cruel, bloodthirsty men
At her command
Were I not bound for Asia
I'd fix Ireland myself

ELIZABETH
If your true desire
Is to see Ireland
Brought to heel
We commission you
Lord Governor true
Of all of Ireland
Crush the clans
The pirates too

BINGHAM
(spoken)
But, your majesty...

ELIZABETH
Do not tha-a-a-a-a-ank me-
Kneel

LORDS
Rah-rah, tip-top,
Masterfully resolved!
One bold stroke, the
Matter of Ireland solved!

"Difficult," King Henry said,
"To govern like a king."
One day out, already
You've a handle on thing

As it has been!
So shall it be!
God save the Queen!
England eternally

Rah-rah, tip-top
So goes the old refrain
Rah-rah, tip-top
Ev'rything's right as rain!
Ev'rything's right as rain!