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i had a Mr.pip
Mr.pip is the of Dr.Pepper
but it's the replica
cause dude even get his degree
why did you have to drop out and start pot so soon
the comercial for Dr.pepper
says it tartes just like Dr.Pepper
the they fucked up
I went to a
all he did was suck blood from my
go see Dr.Acula
i want to hang a map of the world in my
and thm i'm gonna but pins in all the
i've travelled to
but i'm gonna travel to the top two corners
of the map so it won't down
you know, people think i'm into sports just
i'm a man
I'm not into sports i mean i gatorade
but that's about as far as it
and by the way you have to be sweaty
and holding a to enjoy a gatorade
you can just be... a thisty
Gatorade about this demographic
i'm thirsty for no reason
other than the fact liquid has not touched my lips
for quite some
can i a Gatorade too?
or does that lightning mean no
yeah i'm not into
if i had an athleats
my first would be
"that's not my foot"
i don't want to have my in the cover of a Weedis box
i want to have my face in the cover of a Rice box
Snap, crackle, and pop
hey, how the did he do that?
well in holywood all who you know
and i know
i saw an HBO advertising a boxing
it said: a fight to the finish
a good place to end
every commercial end the same way, right?
commercials end like this
prices and participations may
now i want to a Mcdonald's
and not in anything
i be a stubborn Mcdonald's owner
i say

we got and blanckets
but we're not affiliated that clown
he attracts too many

Videos

Mitch Hedberg - Best Show Ever!
Mitch Hedberg - Best Show Ever!
Soda Pop
Soda Pop
Pop
Pop
Best of Mitch Hedberg
Best of Mitch Hedberg
MITCH HEDBERG - #1 Standup Comedy Set EVER - Just For Laughs 2004 - **BEST QUALITY** - MH Awakening
MITCH HEDBERG - #1 Standup Comedy Set EVER - Just For Laughs 2004 - **BEST QUALITY** - MH Awakening
Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from  2001!
Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from 2001!
Mitch Hedberg - Topic
Mitch Hedberg - Topic
The Pipe - Mitch Hedberg
The Pipe - Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg on That 70's Show
Mitch Hedberg on That 70's Show
Mitch Hedberg Playlist
Mitch Hedberg Playlist
An incredible Mitch Hedberg Story
An incredible Mitch Hedberg Story
Mitch Hedberg: Waffles Are Like Pancakes With Syrup Traps | Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Mitch Hedberg: Waffles Are Like Pancakes With Syrup Traps | Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Mitch Hedberg Do You Believe In Gosh Complete
Mitch Hedberg Do You Believe In Gosh Complete
Final Words, Mitch Hedberg (He Said This 2 Weeks Before Dying)
Final Words, Mitch Hedberg (He Said This 2 Weeks Before Dying)
Mitch Hedberg - Breakfast Chef (1997) #shorts #standupcomedy #comedyshorts #standup #comedy
Mitch Hedberg - Breakfast Chef (1997) #shorts #standupcomedy #comedyshorts #standup #comedy
Mitch Hedberg joke about Drugs 💀 #mitchhedberg #comedy
Mitch Hedberg joke about Drugs 💀 #mitchhedberg #comedy
Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Stand Up Comedy 2/5/1999
Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Stand Up Comedy 2/5/1999
"An escalator can never break..." 🎤: Mitch Hedberg #shorts
"An escalator can never break..." 🎤: Mitch Hedberg #shorts
Classic Mitch Hedberg, so relatable 😂🏌️‍♂️
Classic Mitch Hedberg, so relatable 😂🏌️‍♂️
Mitch Hedberg - This is not a library, Ordered a chicken sandwich & Carmex
Mitch Hedberg - This is not a library, Ordered a chicken sandwich & Carmex