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i had a Mr.pip
Mr.pip is the of Dr.Pepper
but it's the bullshit
cause dude didn't even get his
why did you have to out and start making pot so soon
the comercial for Dr.pepper
says it tartes like regular Dr.Pepper
well the they up
I to a doctor
all he did was suck from my neck
go see Dr.Acula
i want to a map of the world in my house
and thm i'm gonna but pins in all the
i've travelled to
but first i'm gonna travel to the top two
of the map so it fall down
you know, people think i'm into sports just
i'm a man
I'm not into sports i i like gatorade
but about as far as it goes
and by the way you don't have to be
and holding a to enjoy a gatorade
you can just be... a dude
Gatorade forgets about demographic
i'm thirsty for no reason
than the fact that liquid has not touched my lips
for some time
can i have a too?
or does lightning bolt mean no
yeah i'm not into
if i had an athleats
my first would be
"that's not my foot"
i don't want to my face in the cover of a Weedis box
i want to have my in the cover of a Rice Crispies box
Snap, crackle, and pop
hey, how the fuck did he do
well in holywood all who you know
and i know
i saw an HBO advertising a match
it said: a fight to the finish
that's a place to end
every Mcdonald's commercial end the same way,
Mcdonald's commercials end this
and participations may vary
now i to open a Mcdonald's
and not participate in
i wanna be a stubborn owner
i say

we got and blanckets
but we're not with that clown
he attracts too children

Videos

Pop
Pop
Best of Mitch Hedberg
Best of Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg - Best Show Ever!
Mitch Hedberg - Best Show Ever!
Mitch Hedberg: Waffles Are Like Pancakes With Syrup Traps | Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Mitch Hedberg: Waffles Are Like Pancakes With Syrup Traps | Late Night With Conan O'Brien
Mitch Hedberg - The Reason We Can't Find Big Foot
Mitch Hedberg - The Reason We Can't Find Big Foot
MITCH HEDBERG - #1 Standup Comedy Set EVER - Just For Laughs 2004 - **BEST QUALITY** - MH Awakening
MITCH HEDBERG - #1 Standup Comedy Set EVER - Just For Laughs 2004 - **BEST QUALITY** - MH Awakening
Mitch Hedberg - Best One Liners
Mitch Hedberg - Best One Liners
MITCH HEDBERG - HILARIOUS STAND-UP
MITCH HEDBERG - HILARIOUS STAND-UP
Mitch Hedberg: I Wish They Made Fajita Cologne | Late Night with Conan O’Brien
Mitch Hedberg: I Wish They Made Fajita Cologne | Late Night with Conan O’Brien
Mitch Hedberg - Topic
Mitch Hedberg - Topic
Soda Pop
Soda Pop
Joe Rogan discusses Mitch Hedberg  w/Bill Burr
Joe Rogan discusses Mitch Hedberg w/Bill Burr
Cranium Accessories | Mitch Hedberg
Cranium Accessories | Mitch Hedberg
Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from  2001!
Mitch Hedberg: Classic Set at Just For Laughs from 2001!
1993 07 13 Comedy Caravan   Mitch Hedberg Showcase
1993 07 13 Comedy Caravan Mitch Hedberg Showcase
Mitch Hedberg: “Acid Opened Up My Mind”
Mitch Hedberg: “Acid Opened Up My Mind”
Mitch Hedberg Lays Out the Perfect Pizza Franchise
Mitch Hedberg Lays Out the Perfect Pizza Franchise
Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Stand Up Comedy 2/5/1999
Mitch Hedberg on Letterman - Stand Up Comedy 2/5/1999
Mitch Hedberg  Strategic Grill Locations
Mitch Hedberg Strategic Grill Locations
Mitch Hedberg on Turkeys, Tennis, and Turtlenecks | Letterman
Mitch Hedberg on Turkeys, Tennis, and Turtlenecks | Letterman