Poor Fool

(while they sing the Phantom switches Carlotta's bottle of something to help her voice)
(Confidante)
They say that this youth
has set my Lady's
heart aflame!

(1st Fop)
His Lordship, sure,
would die of shock!

(2nd Fop)
His Lordship is
a laughingstock!

(Confidante)
Should he suspect her,
God protect her!

(All Three)
Shame! Shame! Shame!

This faithless lady's
bound for Hades!
Shame! Shame! Shame!

(Countess)
Serafimo - your disguise is perfect.

(A knock at door)

Why who can this be?

(Don Attilio)
Gentle wife, admit your loving
husband.

My love - I am called to England
on affairs of State, and must
leave you with your new maid.
(Aside) Though I'd happily take
the maid with me.

(Countess aside)
The old fool is leaving!

Serafimo away with this pretense!
You cannot speak - but kiss
me in my husbands absense.

Poor fool, he makes me laugh!
Haha,
Haha! etc.
Time I tried to get a better, better half!

(Countess and Chorus)
Poor fool, he doesn't know!
Hoho,
Hoho, etc.
If he knew the truth, he'd never, ever go!

(Phantom's Voice)
Did I not instruct that Box Five was to be kept
empty?

(Meg backstage)
He's here: the Phantom of the Opera...

(Christine)
It's him

(Carlotta)
Your part is silent, little toad!

(Phantom's Voice)
A toad, madame? Perhaphs it is you who are the
toad...

(Carlotta as Countess)
Serafimo, away with this pretence!
You cannot speak, but kiss me in my
croak!

(Countess)
Poor fool, he makes me laugh -
Hahahahaha!
Croak, croak, croak, croak, etc.
(spoken)Mother!

(Firmin)
Ladies and gentlemen, we apologize.
The performance will continue in ten
minutes' time...

... When the role of Countess
will be played by Miss Daae.

(Andre)
In the meanwhile, we'd like to give
you the ballet from Act III of
tonight's opera.

(Reyer)
What?!

(Andre)
Maestro-the-the ballet! Send it forward, please.