Oh Beautiful Town

I grew up blind just like everyone's child
In the warmth of milk and deceit
Smothered by love and the chemical dust
There was never enough to believe
They chewed me up, they spat me out
Of their system and onto their street
And the rest of my life was a spring to forget
All the greatness that could never be

Oh beautiful town
I remember you blacker than night
The whores and the sick-mouths, the bad taste
And the neon lives
Oh beautiful town
Where are you now with your binge insecurities?
I shut you down, beautiful town
Because you tear your children
Into pieces

Absence twisted with fondness
Is the horror I couldn't forget
Programmed in the great art
Of family lies and debts
Too much expectation
Followed by hope and then a hate in the mess
And the rest of my life was a glorious test
Of my will and my selfish neglect

Oh beautiful town
I remember you blacker than night
The whores and the sick-mouths, the bad taste
And the neon lives
Oh beautiful town
Where are you now with your binge insecurities?
I shut you down, beautiful town
Because you tear your children
Into pieces

On the floor boards under insolent feet
I mapped the hopscotch to my parents' retreat
With a lavender bag in my hand
And words of desperation on my tongue
Good night father, good night mother
Are you still awake?