Nothing Fails Like Prayer

The farmers pray for precipitation,
And they say, "In God We Trust."
Then along comes a drought and dries their crops out
And turns their prayers into dust.
The next time they need some assistance,
They should take the advice of Mark Twain,
Who said, "It's better to check the weather report
Before you pray for rain."

You reach the final week of the school year,
But you haven't studied your best,
So you stay up and cram for the final exam,
And pray for God's help on the test.
Then you answer the questions with assurance That the Lord will help you sail through.
When the results are returned, what have you learned? God's no smarter than you!

You ask a supernatural power
For sunshine on your wedding day.
Then along comes a thunder shower
And washes your prayers away.
When things go right, you praise the Almighty,
And give thanks in Jesus's name.
But when things go wrong, you change your song
God never gets the blame.

You buy a hundred lottery tickets,
Then you ask the Holy Ghost
To influence the gods to better your odds
Because you deserve it the most.
Then reality teaches you that lesson
About hoping for heavenly grants:
The success rate of prayer happens to fare
No better than chance.

How many centuries will it take us
Before we realize
There are no magic forces in nature,
No watchful eyes in the skies?
A single plow is much more effective
Than a hundred prayers a day.
The hands that help are better far
Than lips that pray.