Nitro-Burnin' Funny Bong

Ahh, sweet youth
The joys of becoming a teenage prostitute
Or in my case a blood-crazed gladiator
Til I got stuck on this planet and got hooked

On the weed and the crack and the booze
And the pills and the speed
And the sex and the mud and blood and the shit

Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song

Fat and lame
The claws have been clipped and the tigers been tamed
By a bong, and a schlong
Yes, now we have all seen how games can go wrong

My brains filled with bees and my cock is diseased
Laden with pus, it hangs well past my knees
A swarm of narcotics could get me through this
My manager's gonna be pissed

Let's go hit the
Nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song

Oh, can you take it, yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you
Unless you get high with the boys

Now I'm old , strapped in my cell as I cultivate mold
In the twilight of my years, I am still a drug addict
I'm sucking all night long on a ten foot bong
Moistened with lotion, wrapped in a sarong I live like a king

But you know that I act like a faggot
Once was a warrior, now just a sponge
High all the time got a dick like a muskellunge
My glorious destiny it turned to shit

Can I get another hit?
From the nitro-burning funny bong
Just one hit, your life goes wrong
Nitro-burning funny bong
Another stupid stoner song

Oh, can you take it, yeah, do a monster
Oh, can you deal with it?
We won't respect you
Unless you get high with the boys