My Autobiography

I know you and I'll agree
What this world needs is a lot more me
Well, I have got the remedy
Gonna write my autobiography

I've led a fascinating life
Had a husband and a wife
But you will truly be amazed
At just how humble I have stayed

Enough about me, let's talk about you
What do you think of me?
You must feel such gratitude
That you will get to read my autobiography

My life doesn't have a very good plot
Guess I'll have to lie a lot
Should be easy to make things up
There's no one left to call my bluff

A lot of my old friends have passed on
The rest did drugs and their memory's gone
So I'll write my own history
In my autobiography

I'll say I slept with a Kennedy
Don't remember which one
They all looked the same to me
Or they did when we got done

Maybe they'll film it for TV
I wonder who they'll cast as me
Should be somebody I look like
Sigourney Weaver'd be all right

Gonna be hard to deal with fame
Once the whole world knows my name
But I'll stay humble and grateful
To all the little people like you

A thousand pages more of me
And all I've said and done
It will be my legacy
And that's just volume one
Of my autobiography