Mean Old Man

On my own
How could I have known?
Imagine my surprise
Just a fool
From a tree full of fools
Who can't believe his eyes
Imagine my surprise

I was a mean old man
I was an ornery cuss
I was a dismal dan
I made an awful fuss
Ever since my life began
Man, it was ever thus
I was a nasty tyke who was hard to like

I had to misbehave
I did things in reverse
Refused to wash or shave
I was horrid to my nurse
I got back what I gave
Which only made me worse
I had to have my way
Which was bleak and gray, oh dear

Living in here
One hundred years of rain
Such a drag
This riches to rags
With just myself to blame
A dirty low-down shame

Silly me
Silly old me
Somewhere outside my mind
Clever you
Walking me through
Willing to lead the blind
Just in the nick of time

Who gets a second chance?
Who gets to have some fun?
Who gets to learn to dance
Before his race is run?
Who gets to shed his skin?
Who comes up born again?
Who was a mean old man
'til you turned him into a golden retriever
Puppy dog
Who's a good boy?