Mambo No. Sex

Oh I had sex with Max but it was too complex
And he has just knocked me off my legs
Cos he had sex with his ex
I went to bed with Fred - It was so sad
Cos all I had from Mister Fred
He got my dreams all wet
So I had sex on the phone
It went on and on and on
But it shakes me on the bone now that I'm alone
Don't need no Willy no Fred no Max
Just Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex
It's Mambo Number Sex
Touch me baby
Mambo Number Sex
Mambo Number Sex

I had some fun with Dr Dick
He showed me a new trick
But babe he made me sick
He always came to quick
Checked it out with Fritz
Man he was a blitz
I know how that fits - his wife had seven kids
I went with Howard - the coward
But we got in a jam
Cos he didn't give a damn
He was scared of Uncle Sam
So Fred go to bed and Max grab your ex
I'll take Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex
It's Mambo Number Sex
Touch me baby
Mambo Number Sex
Mambo Number Sex

I don't wanna tango
No cha cha cha no twist
And I don't wanna samba and fandango
I just want to be kissed
Oh I don't wanna do the bossa nova
No jitterbug with Max
The only thing that gets me off the sofa
Is Mambo No Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex
It's Mambo Number Sex
Touch me baby
Mambo Number Sex
Mambo Number Sex

It's Mambo Number Sex
It's Mambo Number Sex