Make Someone Happy

MARK
Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's rocking eve. The
breaking-back-into-the-building party...
MIMI
How long til next year?

ROGER
Three and half minutes...

MIMI
I'm Giving Up My Vices
I'm Going Back - Back To School
Eviction Or Not
This Week's Been So Hot
That Long As I've Got You
I Know I'll Be Cool

I Couldn't Crack The Love Code, Dear
'Til You Made The Lock On My Heart
Explode
It's Gonna Be A Happy New Year
A Happy New Year

MARK
Coast Is Clear
You're Supposed To Be Working
That's For Midnight
Where Are They?
There Isn't Much Time

MIMI
Maybe They're Dressing
I Mean What Does One Wear That's
Apropos
For A Party - That's Also A Crime

MAUREEN
Chips, Anyone?

MARK
You Can Take The Girl Out Of Hicksville
But You Can't Take The Hickville Out
Of The Girl

MAUREEN
My Riot Got You On TV
I Deserve A Royalty

MIMI
Be nice You Two
Or No God Awful Champagne

MAUREEN
Don't Mind If I Do
No Luck?

ROGER
Bolted Plywood, Padlocked and
Chained
A Total Dead End

MAUREEN
Just Like My Ex-Girlfriend

(on cell phone)
Honey...?
I Know You're There...
Please Pick Up The Phone
Are You Okay?

It's Not Funny
It's Not Fair!
How Can I Atone?
Are You Okay?

I Lose Control
But I Can Learn To Behave
Give Me One More Chance
Let Me Be Your Slave

I'll Kiss Your Doc Martens
Let Me Kiss Your Doc Martens
Your Every Wish I Will Obey

(Joanne enters)

JOANNE
That Might Be Okay
Down Girl

Heel... Stay

I Did A Bit Of Research
With My Friends At Legal Aid
Technically, You're Squatters
There's Hope
But Just In Case

MARK & JOANNE
Rope!

MARK
We Can Hoist A Line--

JOANNE
To The Fire Escape--

MARK
And Tie Off At

MARK & JOANNE
That Bench!

MAUREEN
I Can't Take Them As Chums

JOANNE
Start Hoisting... Wench

ROGER
I Think I Should Be Laughing
Yet I Forget
Forget How To Begin

I'm Feeling Something Inside
And Yet I Still Can't Decide If I Should Hide
Or Make A Wide Open Grin

Last Week I Wanted Just To Disappear
My Life Was Dust
But Now It Just May Be A Happy New Year
A Happy New Year

(Collins enters with Angel)

COLLINS
Bond - James Bond

ANGEL
And Pussy Galore - In Person

MIMI
Pussy - You Came Prepared

ANGEL
I Was A Boy Scout Once
And A Brownie
'Til Some Little Brat Got Scared

COLLINS
Aha! Moneypenny - My Martini!

MIMI
Will Bad Champagne Do?

ROGER
That's Shaken - Not Stirred

COLLINS
Pussy - The Bolts

ANGEL
Just Say The Word!

MIMI
Two Minutes Left To Execute Our Plan

COLLINS
Where's Everyone Else?

ROGER
Playing Spiderman

MARK
Ironic Close Up: Tight
On The Phone Machine's Red Light
Once The Boho Boys Are Gone
The Power Mysteriously Comes On