Loaded Gun In The Closet

He kept a loaded gun in the closet
And another one in the dresser drawer
Just in case the one in the closet
Didn't make a big enough hole

She has breakfast ready every morning
And his lunch in a box sitting out by the kitchen door
She'd make sure he had everything he needed
And hug his neck and tell him how much she loved him
And it was beautiful you should have seen it

Then she'd make herself a pot of coffee just the way she liked it
And sit down and enjoy the quiet of the house all alone
But, by two O'clock or so every afternoon
The quiet would start getting to her and she'd watch
The clock until he came back home

And she understood just what he needed
When he came home every evening
Was just a couple of beers and a couple of minutes
To cuss about his day

So she'd fix him a nice hot supper
While he ranted and raved about one thing or the other
And she never once told him what he was going on about
Didn't add up to a thing

And she never touched that gun in the closet
It was his and it was there just because he wanted it to be
She didn't get out much, so she never knew just what it was
That made him so afraid

Most women today would say she was a disgrace
Most men would say she wasn't much to look at
And they all would say she'd be a lot better off
If she cared a little more about what they all think

She could have a life of her own if she had a little pride
Some silicone implants, and another man on the side
But she's got a loaded gun in the closet
And it's there anytime she wants it

And her one and only man knows it and
That's why he put it there in the first place