Joker's Wild

Welcome to another exciting episode of Del Ray's
Number one game show, The Joker's Wild!
Shaggy, tell us something about tonight's contestants
Hey, motherfuckers
Get ready for the killer show of this bitch
We gotta cop, we gotta judge, and we gotta redneck
So step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!"

Woohoo!
Everybody smile, guess who's back on your underground dial
It's the game show host with the most
And tonight we finna have a little pig roast

Cop copper, it's been a long while
Lace up your boots and come on down the aisle
Mr. Pig-Man packing that steel
But tonight, you ain't shit, now spin the fuckin' wheel

Looks good, nice try
Now let's see just how ya gonna die?
Lucky, lucky, he landed on Carpenter Jed
He just pounds nails in your forehead

The pig got lucky that time
But let's take a look who's next down the line
Oh, the 43rd District judge
Hey pal, remember me, you threw me in jail

Take a spin or I'll snap your neck
The clicker's landed, let me check
The Jokey, hey, it ain't bad at all
We just cut your face off and slap your skull

Who's next for the games and fun?
Hillbilly Earl, come on down, run
The redneck that sicked his dog on me
Now that's gonna cost you a spin, buddy

Spin around and around it goes
Staple your lips shut, cut off your toes
Then I throw your corpse on top of the pile
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild

Tell me who killed 17 people and later ate their dead bodies?
Jeffrey Dahmer
No, the correct answer would be your mother
Shaggs?
Aww, shit, motherfuckers
Get ready for round two of this bitch
So, if you want your fucking neckbone chopped
Step the fuck up and play the Joker's Wild!"

You like big money and prizes, don't ya
You'd probably kill for a big prize, won't ya
Ya little bitch, it's your turn to spin
Free money, now spin again

Oh goody, the unzip your drawers
I'm finna clip this chain on your balls
Raise ya upside down for the bang bada
Now we bust your head like a pinata

The audience loves that shit
Listen to 'em cheer when your forehead splits
Wait! Cut to a break, oh shit, d-damn ah
We got guts on the camera

The Joker's Wild is brought to you by, Faygo
Everybody sing!
Send your momma straight up to the store
Tell that bitch to bring home a Faygo

Welcome back to the Carnival Show
Here's your chance for the big money cash flow
Hit your buzzer, pull your lever
Joker, joker, lemon, we sever your head

Pick a door, one, two or three
It's the same behind every door, me
There's no escape, now gimme that bald head
The crowd can't help, look, they're all dead

At home they just watching your doom
We broadcast from hell to your living room
I ripped off his knuckle, wicked clown style
Anything goes on the Joker's Wild

It's time to play hit or miss
Contestant number one, open your mouth
Contestant number two, get ready
Will he hit or miss
He hit! What's next?
We got money, we got cash, we got prizes
We got blood, we got guts
We got naked dead bitches on the Joker's Wild

I got my yellow suit and my purple tie
Somebody's gonna die, oh my
It's Mr. Thompson, my next door neighbor
Always bitchin, yellin' from the kitchen window

See, he died and he went to hell though
We meet again, I got my own game show
Spin the wheel, cuz I just can't fuck around
Bonus round!

Oh shit, the end of the game
Bonus round, we goin' out with a bang
You gotta chance for money and prizes
You gotta chance at death, too

So get ready, I'm coming at'cha fast
Your chance for freedom at last
Four questions, so are you ready, Jack?
"Uh, I think so", load the gat

The cop in here?
Eats butt
Yes, the square root of two?
Uhh
Correct, nutsacs don't belong in?
Butt cracks
Right
Richboys eat?
Caviar
No, the correct answer's, bullets
Oh geez, this is Bink Chipperwink saying
"So long till next week folks
See ya later, goodbye"

That's it, go home