It's a Big Old Goofy World

Up in the morning
Work like a dog
Is better than sitting
Like a bump on a log

Mind all your manners
Be quiet as a mouse
Some day you'll own a home
That's as big as a house

I know a fella
He eats like a horse
Knocks his old balls
'Round the old golf course

You oughta see his wife
She's a cute little dish
She smokes like a chimney
And drinks like a fish

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh big, it's a big old goofy world

Elvis had a woman
With a head like a rock
I wished I had a woman
That made my knees knock

She'd sing like an angel
And eat like a bird
And if I wrote a song
She'd know ever single word

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh big, it's a big old goofy world

Kiss a little baby
Give the world a smile
If you take an inch
Give 'em back a mile

'Cause if you lie like a rug
And you don't give a damn
You're never gonna be
As happy as a clam

I'm sitting in a hotel
Trying to write a song
My head is just as empty
As the day is long

Why it's clear as a bell
I should have gone to school
I'd be wise as an owl
Stead of stubborn as a mule

There's a big old goofy man
Dancing with a big old goofy girl
Ooh big, it's a big old goofy world
Ooh big, it's a big old goofy world