It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway

Oh lighten up, where's your sense of humor
They're just tiny little rumors that I started 'cause I'm lookin' out for you
Oh settle down, I'm just a little jealous and I'm sure those other fellas
Never once believed the lies I told were true

Like the time I told that cowboy that you used to be a man
And the doctor you were datin' that you hide your wedding band
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
And you'd really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh can't you see, the reason that I'm doin'
All the crazy things I'm doin' is because I really care about you girl
And I'll admit I go a little farther than I know I probably oughta
But it's all because I need you in my world

Like the time I told that lawyer that you spent a year in jail
And the salesman you were seein' you hang out at cheap motels
Even if I am responsible for scaring them away
And you'd really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can't stand the thought of you with anybody else
I know I've gone overboard but I can't help myself

Like the time I told that dentist you had seven little kids
And you doubled as a dancer at the strip joint on the ridge
Even if I am responsible for scaring him away
And you really ought to thank me, I was doin' you a favor
'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh it's all because I love you
And I can't stop thinkin' of you
And it never woulda worked out anyway