In Two

i am split in two

sometimes i want to be a saint
i wanna wallow in my sleaze
one minute I'm a goddess
and the next a bitch, diseased
today i want to save the world
and tomorrow watch it burn
i come by my lessons painfully
then forget all that I've learned
when i want to

i want to i want to when i want to i want to

i know what i want i want everything
i know what i want i want nothing

i want to make you happy
then beat the smile from your face
i will become your downfall
and your saving fucking grace
i want to be a virgin
i want to fuck you 'til you bleed
i will worship you then spit in your face
i don't want who i need
but i want you

i want you i want you when i want you i want you

i know what i want i want everything
i know what i want i want nothing

i wish for happiness
when my mind becomes my hell
but sometimes there's comfort in my pain
'cause i know it so well
i want to slay the demons
that still haunt me day and night
but sometimes I'm grateful for my fear
it reminds me I'm alive
but i hate to

i hate to i hate to
but i hate to be afraid
no matter who you think you see
it's only ever half of me
inside my head is deafening
please help me

all i want is for this to stop i need all this to stop all i want is for this to stop i need all this to stop please god just make it stop god damn it never stops fuck me just make it

and i pray
for some silence
why am i two I's?
the pain is slowly killing me
the war that others cannot see
it's what i go through
'cause i am

in two

i am split in two