Idiot Brother

They were hanging on for grim life
They were clutching at straws
They were sure the ship was at port
As it sailed far from shore

They were keen philosophers
They were keen on hurt
They were like a pair of dumb dogs
Rolling in the dirt

That's you and your idiot brother
Waiting in the wing
Which one holds up the other
Which one pulls the string? Oh

One bite of the apple
One chop at the tree
Is your word as good as your bond
Your stammer, your honesty?

Nothing works for no one
That won't work for me
Nothing works for no one at all
No one works for free

Except you and your idiot brother
Waiting in the wing
Which one holds up the other
Which one pulls the string? Oh

We were getting on famously
I was doing my bit
They got no claim on me
So send me a writ

I was walking around your house
In the middle of the night
Home medicine, erotica
Is your prescription right?

That's you and your idiot brother
Waiting in the wing
Which one holds up the other
Which one pulls the string? Oh

I wanna kill your sister
With some business advice
Never doubt your loyalty
On the telephone line

And what about our fat friends
With the golden ear?
Upped and left, turned down your best shot
Left you in arrears

That's you and your idiot brother
Without prejudice
I can scarcely believe the situation
Has come to this, oh

You and your hideous brother
A crutch of sympathy
And on fire, you're no flier
Just uselessly diseased, oh