I'm Number One (Constantine and Ricky Gervais)

(Constantine)
I'm number one, you're number two. We're criminals at large but I'm at larger than you. I'm number one, you're number two. I believe in the quality as long as you get less than me.

(add Dominic)
I'm one. You're one. You're number two. I'm number two. You may think that you're smarter, but I'm smarterer than you. I'm number one, you're number two. You're lucky to be number two not number three.

I can see by the look in your eye, you want to get a bigger piece of the pie. One day you'll get your chance, but in the mean time, You got to dance monkey dance!

(Dominic spoken)
Really? I hate dancing.

(Constantine)
Do it! Dance Monkey Dance! HAHA!!!

(Dominic singing)
I'm number two. He's number one. I can't believe I'm working for an amphibian. I'm number two. He's number one (Constantine interrupts) I'M NUMBER ONE!!!
You know life gone to the dogs when your boss is a frog.
I can see it's just a matter of time before he gone and I'm at the front of the line. It won't be long until i get my chance. But in the mean time. I've got to dance monkey dance.

(Constantine)
Dance monkey dance! Now watch me.

(Constantine and Dominic)
I'm number one. He's number one. You're number two. I'm number two! I'll bet you kid, there you go, now step aside this segments through. I'm one. You're one. I'm number one! Yes, we know! I'm..., He's... Number one!

(Constantine)
That's how it's done.