I'm At Home Getting Hammered (While She's Out Getting Nailed)

We started in the morning, carried well into the night
Throwing dirty dishes with all our might
Sad commentary on a marriage that has failed
Im at home getting hammered while shes out getting nailed

Police pulled into my trailer park
Domestic violence cost [Incomprehensible] after dark
Late night with her boss, says theyre trying to make a sale
Im at home getting hammered while shes out getting nailed

I'm at home drinking whiskey in my easy chair
Watching Jerry Lawler pulling Andy Kauffmans hair
Had a suspicion, so I opened up her mail
Im at home getting hammered while shes out getting nailed

She used to bring me beer and love all over me
Right before I went on disability
My wiggler ain't so straight, I got whiskey dick
She dont perk it up 'cause, 'cause her ankles got so thick

Well, the moral of this story is sad but true
I love to drink and she loves to screw
Hobos got a better life, riding on the rails
Im at home getting hammered while shes out getting nailed