I Heard Jesus Was

I heard Jesus was a cool lad
A peace and love kind of guy, it's said
He smelled of BO and of weed
A smell that could have raised the dead

He had twelve merry drinking pals
Who loved a late boozy repast
But every morning, quite hung over
They swore this supper would be their last

My God, Old man!
Oh why have you forsaken me?
We hoped to party until dawn
But we're out of beer and it's only three!

He and his buddies crashed a wedding
Where all they served was water warm and stale
Jesus winked at the bride and the groom
And turned the water into ale

My God, Old man!
Am I really your true son?
Cause you seem to me a bit stern
And I mighty like to have some fun...

Sanitas Bona!
Sanitas Bona!

His hot girlfriend was an ex-whore
Who warmed the bed of many men in need
She never caught anything itchy at her job
And that was a miracle indeed

My God, Old man!
I read the jobs you had for me
And I could not help wondering
Can I really walk upon the sea?

Because I'd like to spread
The good news of brew the world around
And it looks to me a whole lot cheaper
Than renting a boat for a bag of pounds