I Feel Lucky

Well I woke up this morning, stumbled out of my rack
I opened up the paper to the page in the back
It only took a minute for my finger to find
My daily dose of destiny under my sign
My eyes just about popped out of my head
It said the stars are stacked against you, girl
Get back in bed
I feel lucky, I feel lucky
No Professor Doom's gonna stand in my way
Mmmm I feel lucky today
Well I strolled down to the corner, gave my numbers to the clerk
The pot's 11 million so I called in sick to work
I bought a pack of Camels, a burrito, and a Barq's
Crossed against the light, made a beeline for the park
The sky began to thunder, the wind began to moan
I heard a voice above me saying, Girl you'd better get back home
But I feel lucky, I feel lucky
No tropical depression's gonna steal my sun away
Mmmm I feel lucky today
Well, 11 million later I was sitting at the bar
I'd bought the house a double and the waitress a new car
Dwight Yoakam's in the corner trying to catch my eye [*]
Lyle Lovett's right beside me with his hand upon my thigh [**]
The moral of the story is simple but it's true
Hey the stars might lie, but the numbers never do
I feel lucky, I feel lucky, yeah
Hey Dwight, hey Lyle, boys, you don't have to fight [***]
Hot dog, I feel lucky tonight
I feel lucky, I feel lucky
Think I'll flip a coin, I'm a winner either way
Mmmm I feel lucky today
(alternative last lines:
* Lyle Lovett's right beside me with his hand upon my thigh
** Julia Roberts's right behind me saying, "Girl, don't even try"
*** Julia may have Lyle, but I've still got Dwight)